Game Of Thrones – Season 4 – Episode 10 “The Children”
This is it everyone – The finale of Season 4 for Game of Thrones. Stick with me while we revisit what went down in the aptly named episode focusing on both ‘the children of the forest’ as a race and ‘the children’ in reference to parents and their own legitimate children on the show. Now buckle in because this last hour was quite the ride.
THAT TIME JON SNOW GOT TO HAVE A PROPER NORTHERN DRINK
“You spent too much time with us Jon Snow. You can never be a kneeler again” -Tormund keeping it real
Jon Snow is heading back into enemy territory, walking amongst the burnt carnage that was the previous battle, to either kill or talk to Mance Rayder aka The King Beyond The Wall and we get a harsh reminder that Mance is both clever and witty. He literally lets us know that he knows how screwed the Nights Watch are but then follows this up with the real reason for him getting this whole army together: Winter is coming and therefore they NEED to escape the White Walker threat so they can continue living. This is something viewers may forget in the fog of battles and bloodshed: That the wildlings are just trying to continue being the free folk AND stay alive. Mance has some demands for everyone favorite pretty bastard: Open the tunnel gate and the Nights Watch will be spared. If they don’t Mance promises more mass death. This whole deal is completely appropriate and fair but Jon has to know his brothers would NEVER go through with this. It is against EVERYTHING they think they are there for. I also want to point out how effing cool Mance was to Jon in general considering he sees him as a dirty turncoat – They even share a drink for the dearly departed Ygritte. So sweet. Ygritte got a lot of respect and love post mortem from Jon, Mance, and Tormund. Anyway right when tension is getting a bit high and its looking a bit bleak for Jon Snow they hear some fighting. Yay more battle!
Surprise! We get some first time overhead charging battle shots of men on horseback surrounding the Wildling forces! Ah! And who is coming to save the day? What banner is littered everywhere? A burning stag of course! Stannis Baratheon has arrived in the north with his new Braavos Bank money army. Huzzah! Stannis in a truly kingly move has taken his new army North to fight the coming threat rather than attack King’s Landing again. Mance, continuing to prove his metal and brawn refuses to bow but thankfully Jon Snow remember how well he was treated as a prisoner last season so he recommends doing the same to Mance. Sweet. Also Jon Snow reminding us he fits into this episodes title reiterated to Stannis that his father (Ned) died for him.
Later on, after Jon Snows wise advice, Stannis and Team Fire (Davos, Melisandre, Lobster daughter, and cray-cray wife) watch as the Nights Watch burns their dead from the night before. In a creepy voiceless moment Melisandre watches Jon through the flames appraisingly. Gulp. Careful with that one Jon – She is dark and full of terrors, loves burning people, and seemed entirely too interested in you. Afterward Jon continues his touchingly sweet moments as he takes Ygritte’s body North of the wall. He builds her a pyre by a Weirwood Tree for all the old gods to see and lets it burn. Goodbye Ygritte. You got more than most unfortunate people on this show (Love, Views, and some genuine enjoyable head from Jon Snow) before they die and that is certainly something to be proud of.
THAT TIME CERSEI DIDNT WANT TO HEAR SMUG STORIES ABOUT ALL THE TIMES TYWIN WON
“I love my brother. I love my lover.” -Cersei playing an old dependable card
So it turns out that Prince Oberyn was entirely reckless when he fought the Mountain and lost two weeks ago – The Mountain is still alive but dying from poison Oberyn must have had on his blade. At least he died knowing his enemy would also eventually die a painful slow death – seemingly until Qyburn comes along. Grand Maester Pycelle thinks nothing can be done to help The Mountain but Qyburn and his mad scientist experiments have other plans. Cersei, in need of a strong man to kill people for her, sends Pycelle out and lets Qyburn try some of his tricks on him. Jesus, can’t this big asshole just die? I think its cool that Westros is getting its own Dr Frankenstein but I’m just about finished with the massive Mountain.
Cersei, still reeling from her win over Tyrion, decides to push her luck and flat out tells Tywin that she refuses to marry Loras. She knows if she does she will once again be separated from her child and she simply sees this as a worst case scenario. Once this episodes title echoes all over this scene has it is about Tywin and his children as well as Cersei’s children. She even threatens metaphorically burning their House to the ground by publicly admitting that ALL of her royal Baratheon children are actually incest Lannisters with her twin brother Jamie. “You’re legacy is a lie” She spouts in his face as he proves for the first time that he simply is blocking out their incestuous relationship. He looks absolutely rattled and that is something I never pictured him doing. Probably feeling like she has won again Cersei seeks out Jaime who is still pouring over his meager paragraph of good deeds in the Kings Guard book. She flat out makes all of his romantic dreams come true by telling him all of the little things he’s wanted to hear from her, especially since he has returned this season. She choses him. She kisses his metal hand (That most definitely disgusts her) and tells him she loves her brother. They make love right there on the table in victory while I pray Jamie isn’t further seduced by her poison lady parts.
THAT TIME DANY STILL HAD 47 TITLES AND ROASTED PROBLEMS
“He came from the sky. The black one. The winged shadow.” -Some bad news for Dany
Dany is back on her judgey throne with more problems to fix back in Meereen. An older slave comes in to complain (without blame) about his shitty situation as no longer being a slave. “The young may rejoice in the new world you have built for them, but for those of us too old to change there is only fear and squalor,” he explains trying not to offend her. Its all pretty understandable and reeks of realism as Dany basically tells the dude to go back his master and instead of selling himself back as a slave he should only lease himself for a year. Khaleesi needs to get a job fair up in this bitch to explain how one lives with being livestock. This whole tired plot-line is interrupted by some real trouble. Big ole’ Drogon has apparently upgraded from burning up tiny goat herds and killed some nice meek slaves young daughter. Yikes. She can’t offer him three more of those and get on with her day like before. So the “breaker of chains” decides to lure her dragons into the catacombs beneath her giant pyramid and chains them up down there. It’s a sad sad event, and Dany cannot hide her tears as she walks away from her crying chained up babies. Unfortunately or fortunately Drogon is actually no where to be found so only her two smallest kiddos are being kept in lockdown. My pointless question is: Is Drogon just still out playing somewhere? Or did he recognize that he used his fire on something that would piss off his mother? Am I being too naive about the dragonkitties? Anyone else feel utterly and helplessly bad when she walked away from her crying babies? During my last watch I actually got visibly upset.
THAT TIME BRAN ACTUALLY FOUND THE THREE EYED RAVEN
“I’ve been watching you, all of you, all of your lives. with a thousand eyes and one. Now you’ve come to me at last Brandon Stark though the hour is late.” -Gandalf?
Bran and Team Hodor are still trekking North and right before they reach their ultimate destination of a wicked large Weirwood tree a skeleton hand suddenly shoots up out of the snow. A wight! aka a dead body coming to life at the bidding of White Walkers. Bran has to warg into Hodor again as this little group are overtaken by these reanimated skeletons. Meera fights awesomely but they are nearly overrun as Jojen is stabbed in the gut multiple times! Ahh! This isn’t a complete surprise as Jojen literally has a vision earlier this season in which they reached their destination but his hand was on fire signifying his impending death.
Thankfully everyone else on Team Hodor is saved when a new race in Westros is introduced. A fireball flinging title of the episode namesake: Children of the forest. They are a nonhuman race who inhabited the land before humans – sort of a mix between Native Americans and Elves. They like the dragons, and white walkers, are supposedly extinct. Ugh Westros has communication problems – haha. So after Meera pity kills her brother, and the little ‘child’ throws a few fireballs she leads them into a cave of roots under the great tree. Sort of awesomely, the skeletons try to follow them and fall to pieces as soon as they enter the cave because the White Walker power like cannot exist in there. Sweet. Further into the cave the little one leads them – exclusively Bran – the an ancient looking man who is the physical representation of the awaited three-eyed raven. He slightly explains that he will help Bran get back something he lost. Bran hopes for his legs but the dude shoots this down saying he will never walk again but he may fly… Hmm what flies ladies and gentlemen? I doubt he’s taking about ravens.
THAT TIME THE HOUND COULD SHIT LATER BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE COMING
“Safety? Where the fucks that?! Her aunt in the eerie is dead. Her mothers dead. Her fathers dead. Her brothers dead. Winterfel is a pile of rubble. There is no safety you dumb bitch. You don’t know that by now you’re the wrong one to watch over her.”
“Thats what you’re doing?”
“Aye thats what I’m doing” -The Hound finally admitting his true relationship with Arya to Brienne
Out in the middle of the Riverlands Brienne wakes up Podrick complaining that their horses were stolen. Haha. Fortunately I love their little comedic moments but alas this scene is about to turn more serious. Further away Brienne catches sight on Arya Stark practicing her water dancing with Needle. We get a few sweet moments where Arya can show her enjoyment at a woman warrior before the Hound appears. Brienne is determined to fulfill her quest in rescuing a Stark and the Hound is not ready to relinquish his hostage so in a move I did not expect but absolutely loved seeing: Brienne of Tarth and Sandor The Hound fight. It was such a spectacular fight and a bit grueling to watch mostly because we actually want both of these characters to stay alive. It gets dirty after the Hound gets sassy and admits to not being a knight – and awesomely Brienne adapts well and proves she is not a knight herself by literally using a rock to beat at his head until he is finally thrown backward off a small cliff. Ahh! Somehow I found the strength to laugh as Brienne realizes in the chaos Arya has disappeared. Her and Podrick start looking and Arya goes to see what has become of her captor: Sandor.
Seemingly mortally wounded The Hound tells her to go find Brienne and go with her for safety and ironically intones for her to “Remember where the heart is”. Bravo to the actor Rory McCann for constantly upping his game this season. He begs Arya to put him out of his misery and it is insanely heartbreaking. When it doesn’t work he tries to goad her into it by bringing up his past sins with her like killing her friend the “butchers boy” and even fantasizing about raping her sister but nothing is wiping the cold look on Arya’s face. She approaches and EVERYONE thinks she is about to honorably finish him off but instead she takes his money and leaves him there bleeding out slowly. So like most people I subscribe to the rule that people are concretely dead if we watch it happen onscreen so I’m going to cross all my limbs and hopes we see more of The Hound in the future.
Meanwhile, Arya travels away alone and spots a ship. She begs passage North from the Captain but he smartly tells her she doesn’t want to go that way and he most certainly isn’t – Arya probably doesn’t know what the hell to do here until she finds out where the ship is going: Braavos. She takes out the large coin the faceless Jaqen gave her back in season two and says the magic words: Valar Morghulis. Suddenly her money isn’t good there anymore and the Captain is giving her a cabin and taking her with him. YES! Arya is heading out of Westros… which apparently is the cool thing to do! I also want to mention that this was the actual last scene in the episode so Arya actually got this years epic happy ending – Never would have expected that.
THAT TIME GAME OF THRONES SHOWED US HOW TO TRUELY CELEBRATE FATHERS DAY
“I can’t go back there. She’s in there.”
“What? You afraid of a dead whore?” -A Tywin/Tyrion father/son conversation for the ages
Finally we get to Tyrion and his fate. It’s the night before his execution when he gets an unexpected nighttime visitor. YES! It’s Jaime and he’s there to help his beloved brother escape. For a moment I’m terrified Cersei’s hypnotic pussy has cursed him and he’s leading Tyrion to his death but its totally not! Jaime and Tyrion share a true and heartfelt goodbye hug and kiss. This is the best brotherly relationship on this show and it looks like we’re about to have a severe lack of it. He bids Tyrion to go to a certain door and knock twice so VARYS can help him escape! Yes Another great true relationship is between Tyrion and Varys.
Tyrion is not ready to leave his life at Kings Landing forever yet though and decides to visit his old chambers up in the Tower of the Hand – his fathers current bedchamber. Tension rises and we’re not sure why until we notice Tywin is no where to be found however a sleeping woman in his bed is. Shock! Gasp! It’s Shea! She wakes thinking it is Tywin and we hear a soft “My lion” except now it is meant for his father! We all expect some talking but Shea almost immediately dives for a knife and an actual fight ensues. It all ends morbidly as Tyrion strangles her with her gold necklace. He echoes a hurt “I’m sorry” when it is over. Feels!
Now an emotionally broken Tyrion grabs the old Lannister lion crossbow off the wall (probably the same Joffrey used to torture whores with) and walks down the hall to someplace we’ve never visited in the Red Keep before: the privy. Tywin is sitting in the privy doing his business when his youngest son enters with a crossbow pointed at him. Naturally Tywin relinquishes none of his pride and authority while in this incredibly demeaning situation. He orders Tyrion to put down the weapon so they can talk in his room. He also LIES saying he would never have killed him but Tyrion is not budging. He is upset about everything. His situation but now more importantly Shea. Tywin dismisses her life being worth anything because she was a whore. Tyrion threatens Tywin to never say that word again and when Tywin of course does it Tyrion shoots him in the stomach. Thunk! “I am your son” Tyrion shares before shooting his father a second fatal time. “I have always been your son”. Tyrion has just killed his father – Happy Fathers Day everyone! and one of this shows strongest characters and actors. Charles Dance. I love you.
Finally Tyrion drops the crossbow and makes his way to meeting Varys who notoriously helps good people when he is finished helping himself. He helps Tyrion into a holey box, much like the one he got in the past with his evil penis stealing mage inside and says he will headed to the free cities (!!!). Then while he is being loaded onto a boat the Red Keep’s warning bells begin to sound. Did they notice Tyrion was gone? Was Tywin found? Was Tywin found dead? Varys calculated what the bells must mean and decides to board the ship with Tyrion. Told you heading out of the Westros was the cool thing to do.
The End and goodbye to probably my favorite season of GOT so far.
Until next season suckers.