Game Of Thrones – Season 4 – Episode 5 “First of His Name”

“Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls”
By Sagebeth

This week of Game of Thrones was a whirlwind of new truths concerning old mysteries, a brand new side of Cersei, game changing decisions from Meereen, and Jon Snow almost runs into young Bran. It was extremely exciting, solidly informative, and terribly amazing. So either go and watch it or relive the awesome in this weeks reviewcap.

“You can’t run from them, you can’t cheat them, you can’t sway them with excuses.” -Tywin on the Iron Bank


Wasting no time we are welcomed back to King’s Landing with young Tommen’s coronation ceremony, and at his most important moment of his life does he think of his mother? his father? his grandfather? Himself? No. Tommen’s eyes find the beautiful Margaery watching him greet his subjects. She expertly shoots him secret smiles dripping with temptation. It is truly quite the moment which only gets better when Queen Cersei steps in between them blocking her view. Ha. Lately Cersei has been a drunken tornado of insults and reckless thinking so this moment absolutely blindsided me. Cersei’s intense emotional reactions have faded to a depressed but smarter thought process. Cersei, the sort of clever, is making a comeback and in keeping herself reigned in she is truly meshing with her queenly mother title. In a complete turn around Cersei wants to nurse the partnership between their families and pitch the idea of Margeary marrying Tommen. She bluntly admits that Joffrey was horrible, and considering she is not easily shocked he shocked the shit out of her. HA. Margeary is only surprised momentarily by Cersei’s change of tune and easily reignights her old partnership conversation she tried to have with Cersei when she first arrived in Kings Landing concerning whether Cersei will be a sister or mother to her. HA. Cersei threatened to strangle her if she called her that again but this is a Cersei who now knows shes lost power and who also knows enough to keep her enemies close. Also props to Margeary for completely denying entertaining the notion of marrying Tommen.


Later on Cersei is telling Tywin about her conversation with Margeary. Is this Cersei’s way of winning Tywin’s favor concerning the upcoming trial? He gets to deliver a killer line about how Robert used to pat him on the back which makes me wish we could have seen such a thing. He also comes right out and says that the Tyrells are their biggest rivals in terms of resources so they simply MUST partner up with them to keep their enemies close. He also brings up the much feared Iron Bank of Braavos yet again to reiterate for the casual/sane viewers that the crown and therefore the Lannisters are severely in debt to them. Also completely surprising me we learn that the ‘rich’ Lannisters are starting to loose some of that ‘richness’ as we learn they are mining much of anything anymore. Gulp. I also question what Tywin knows about Joffreys murder as he awesomely refused to discuss it as though he is an actual judge. If he ever actually deducted the truth would he be angry? or grateful for placing a better suited puppet for the throne? Discuss.

Cersei’s last stop on her friendship tour is to Prince Oberyn who is… Wait seriously? Yes he is writing Dornish poetry. My love, Adam, actually called this. Touche. They discuss daughters and we get an astounding amount of humanity from Cersei. We learn Cersei’s daughter, Marcella is safe and well back in Dorne probably with Oberyns daughters. We also learn that Oberyn has eight daughters (bastard daughters? I think) who he is very close with, even naming one after his dead sister. Cersei begs him for a favor of delivering a fine boat as a gift to her daughter when he returns home. He will and he reassures her that they do not hurt little girls in Dorne. Cersei, completely on her game for the first time in a lone time, speaks a universal truth: Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls. So is the boat a signal that she could return home? Discuss.
“How can I rule seven kingdoms if I cannot rule Slaver’s Bay?” -Dany questions herself

Remember all those small council scenes from King’s Landing? We finally get one Meereen style with Dany. It seems Daario has captured the Meereen navy (about 90 ships) without Dany’s order and his reasoning was: He heard she liked ships. HA. This guy is so cool. How long can Dany contain herself? So now with actual ships we actual slide into a discussion about TAKING WESTROS! A problem with this is she may not have enough troops. My problem with this scene was they didn’t even mention her dragons. Wouldn’t that help? Right? RIGHT? The rest of this episode was so sick though I’m just going to ignore it. A bigger problem then her troop numbers is that the other cities (Astapor and Yunkai) she freed have run into some problems: mostly that no one is free anymore. It seems these cities have slid into chaos without her watchful eye with old slave masters taking power again as well as some crazy slave named Cleon. This is a rude awakening for young Dany but also eye opening. She realizes here and now that she does not have enough wisdom to solidly rule Westros so she simply must find more of that. Sure we all would love to see her take her throne back but currently she would never be able to hold it and there is great potential in her considering she knows this. I personally have great patience with Dany as she seems to be one of the only leaders who truly have the potential and patience to be ‘the best’. So bad news: We’re staying in Slavers Bay. Good news: PYRAMIDS! Also it should be shared that Jorah is certainly her most valued adviser. Love Ser Sunburnface.
“Mostly I poured wine” -Podrick on his duties to Tyrion

Stopping for a moment of pure comic relief we get to catch up with Brienne and Podrick. Not only can the poor boy not ride a horse well, but he completely screws up cooking a rabbit for them. Yes, we actually get to see someone try to cook a rabbit with its furry skin still on. And if this isn’t funny enough, Brienne’s reaction faces are absolutely priceless. Can her new stalker/squire do anything? As she begins the tired task of removing her armor he dashes to her side but alas she waves him off. Thankfully she questions him about any combat experience truly expecting nothing and gets a surprise and a half to learn he killed a Kinsguard who tried to kill Tyrion during the Blackwater battle. Putting aside all of the screw ups, and her denial of help, Brienne asks him to assist her with her armor. And we get yet another adorable Podrick smile as some respect begins to bloom between them.

“Know your strengths and use them wisely and one man can be a thousand” -Littlefinger advising Sansa

Littlefinger and Sansa are approaching the Bloodygate of the Eryie and we are treated to some killer shots of the traitorous mountains surrounding their destination. After all this talk about how impossible it would be to attack this great sky castle do you want to bet there is some major battle heading there in the future? Anyway, Littlefinger sneaks Sansa in and we are treated once again to the crazy mother-son duo Lysa and Jon. Little Jon is still super asbergery with a dash of violent nutso, and Lysa somehow managed to not whip out her boob and breastfeed her son and still somehow come off as MORE crazy since the last time we saw her back when she tried Tyrion for his possible hand in Bran’s fall and the murder of her husband. Littlefinger plays them both rather deftly and kudos to not flinching as Lysa kisses him passionately and immediately forces him to wed her there and then. Hilariously she promises to be a screamer in bed that night. Also when Lysa and Littlefinger are alone we get a huge show-changing reveal: The Lannisters played no role in Jon Ayyrn’s murder back pre-series and it was actually Lysa doing Littlefingers bidding. WHAT! That’s right. He asked her to murder her husband and then send a raven to Catelyn and tell her it was the Lannisters. WHAT. Man, I want to hate this man but ought we bow to the true king of this game? What a reveal. Varys lines about Littlefinger being the most dangerous man in the seven kingdoms last year were so true. He is responsible not just for Jon Arryns death but getting Ned Stark involved at all. Crazy.

Later Sansa gets to witness said screaming while she tries to sleep. It should also be noted that she is in hiding here pretending she is Littlefingers niece and not Lysa’s – They just happen to have the same exact hair. Ha. Anyway, Lysa visits her niece later on bearing some lemon cakes and some friendly conversation about Catelyn. Well the conversation at least started friendly but branched into something crazy Lysa has apparently been dealing her whole life: an intense jealous of her older sister Catelyn. As the oldest daughter, Catelyn was treated as some sort of of prized animal and gifted to Ned Starks cocky wild older brother Brandon who eventually dueled and defeated Littlefinger over Catelyns love. We’ve heard this story before from Littlefinger, and was probably one of the reasons he decided power had to be his weapon on choice in life. For Lysa its all about how Catelyn gets everything she wants. Now here is Catelyns daughter, Sansa, and Littlefinger apparently has gone out of his was for her (ie: bringing lemons for her lemoncakes, and saving her in general). Lysa obviously feels her new husband and old love is already slipping from her grasp AGAIN and only Sansa’s excessive tearful truth-telling clears her of suspicion of sleeping with Littlefinger. She is a virgin and Lysa believes this so much she declares Sansa will marry her son Jon. Gulp. This poor girls situation just keeps souring over and over again. So Littlefinger is obviously playing Lysa like a well tuned fiddle both in bed, and mentally which is both impressive and unsettling. There is simply so much crazy over here.
“Your friend’s dead and Meryn Trant’s not because Meryn Trant had armor and a big fucking sword.” -Life Lessons with The Hound

Arya is still all about her bedtime death list. Awesomely the Hound seems to agree with her notion to kill his brother but in general this guy just wants to her to stop talking so he can sleep. So wrapping up her list she caps it off with her final name: The Hound. His facial reaction to hearing his own name was sort of awesome because he is just so utterly shocked. Fast forward to him waking up the next morning and immediately noticing his charge is missing. Cue the Hound awesomely freaking out looking for her. Where is she? Did she run? Why didn’t she kill him? But alas he finds her practicing her ‘water dancing’ that Syrio taught her back when her father was alive. He makes fun of her, and pokes fun at everything from her ‘dancing’ to her old teacher dying at some losers hands while Arya grows more and more angry. Finally everything snaps and Arya jabs Needle into his gut… And it doesn’t pierce his armor at all. His shock sours quickly as he backhands her to the ground. Wacky hijinks between besties Westerosi style. But seriously which will kill the other first?
“We’ll carve em’ up like walnut pie” -Locke hamming it up

We’re back at Craster’s Keep so of course it’s about rape o’clock again. Burn Gorman and some other unfun rapists head into a tent where they are keeping Team Bran tied up so they can happily rape Meera. Lovely. Jojen initially looked worried but as the tension rises and we are left thinking we might have to watch this poor girl get raped but eventually he sees the future and its certainly a brighter one: We get a trippy vision through Jojen’s eyes in which his own hand is on fire and he tells Karl (Burn) that he is going to die and his bones are going to burn up. He also sees Bran continuing his journey and eventually making it to the grand weirwood tree further up north. Karl of course doesn’t believe this until Jon Snow and some of the Nightswatch start their attack on the keep. Huzzah!

Locke worked as a scout for the group, and we saw him scouting the whole keep including finding Team Bran which he of course lies about but telling the men to steer clear of the tent because it is filled with dogs who may ruin their attack and not Jon’s family. So Locke approaches the tent while they begin to attack the mutineers and in the chaos he nearly gets away with kidnapping Bran. He slices up Bran’s leg as proof of his identity before literally untying him and carrying him away like a sack of potatoes but this isn’t some normal little boy. Bran full on wargs into Hodor for a second time, breaks his chains, chases Locke and nearly rips his head off his body. AWESOME. Bran, now back in his body barks orders at Hodor to go free the others and it takes a moment because everyone’s favorite simple giant is also not a killer who clearly is scared of the blood he has on his hands after his head clears. Aw poor Hodor. This is a sweet moment when Bran catches sight of Jon fighting like the hero we all know he is. Immediately he begins to scream for him but a newly freed Jojen warns him down: If Jon sees Bran he knows he would never let him continue on with his journey north. So now faced with his own destiny Bran leaves the keep fully excepting his mission and seemingly beiving this is something he must do. I actually respect this as it gives more credence to his whole plot line.

As for the fighters, Jon is by far shining so it is no surprise that it comes down to him and Karl having it out one on one. This is also basically one last time we get treated to a great villain monologue from Burn Gorman as he teaches Jon a repetitive lesson from this week: Fighting dirty wins the fight. Karl/Burn gets the upper-hand when he spits into Jon’s face and for a moment it looks like this could be it for everyone’s favorite pretty bastard boy but alas Karl/Burn gets a well timed stab to the back from one of the victimized girls he raped. Sadly, it was not a killing blow so he turns and advances on her intent on killing her as well but right before he does Jon does EVERYONE a solid and stabs him through the back of the head, his blade neatly coming out of his mouth. Sick. Awesome. Fantastic. Jon Snow, you just won VIOLENCE OF THE WEEK for that gem. So now the battle is over, and the left over daughter/wives of Crasters turn down Jon’s offer of protection at the wall and decide they will command their own fate (sweet) but not before asking Jon to burn that hellhole to the ground. So Jojen’s vision comes true as Karl’s dead body burns up as well as everyone elses who could potentially become walkers. Also in an uplifting moment, Ghost and Jon are reunited and it feels so good. Story over.
Until next week!


~ by ATOM on May 7, 2014.

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