TRUE BLOOD Season Six – Episode Two “The Sun” A Reviewcap
In expected fashion True Blood already hit a major speed bump as episode 2, “The Sun, was mostly snooze worthy followed up with a handful of cool. I sure hope this isn’t a theme this season: 45 minutes of drivel ending with a rock em’ sock em’ 2 of awesomesauce. Within the following I will discuss some of the ups and downs of last nights episode and touch base with some of our character faves.
WELCOME WARLOW AND NIALL, RIVALS, STALKERS, ETC
Warlow is here (as in Bon Temps) as evidenced by him literally ripping and clawing his way into our plane of existence in the opening moments of this episode. This was very cool and eluded to a fun episode… which was a vicious lie because they spend the rest of the episode sitting comatose, letting strangers into their house, eating spaghetti, and saving whooping cranes. Hell one of the major plotlines introduced this week completely went against this cool ass opening.
The plotline I’m referring to is the big turn around illusion of Rutger being not Warlow but Sookie and Jason’s Fucking Fairy Grandfather. Laughs and boredom aside, this could either give us some cool moments later this season or Rutger is coming in to deliver some silly fairy lines, teach Sookie her crazy new ‘sun’ ability and either die or fuck off soon. Anyway I’ll give them all the benefit of a doubt because GAME OF THRONES has made me generous and let myself not expect the worst of this bullshit.
As for Jason, that boy is such a huge amount of dumb and beauty – it always impresses me. When Niall crosses into the crazy nether-realm that USED to hold Warlow I was so tickled that Jason totally thought he could jump through too. Another Jason tidbit was Niall having to literally tell him out loud that he isn’t Fairy royalty like Sookie because he doesn’t have the gd fairy gene. Ha.
TOUGH FUCKING BIRDS
On the other side of town, in mildly good plot-place, we get to see the aftermath of Tara being shot with that crazy new gun. It looks like Tara is every seasons punching bag – She writhes in pain (apparently the humans with guns just left??) as Pam, Nora and Eric try to help her. Eric, literally digs a silver
UV emitting bullet from Tara’s stomach with a piece of glass – Oh shit. Humans and their technologies. Then these characters step back into a stupid plot development territory as Eric has Nora re-read the Lilith versus of the bible to try to figure out what they are missing. Ugh. They are only saved by Eric’s entertaining plotline and realizing that Pam fucking loves Tara (She called her Baby!).
Eric, a great leader, is taking initiative lurking outside the Governors mansion and like music to our ears Eric decides to get into his office by pretending to be his 5:30 appointment with a wildlife and fisheries agent there to speak for Whooping Cranes. Eric listens for a bit before finally having enough and flat out glamouring the Governor to do his bidding. It’s beautiful until the Governor flat out laughs and screams for his guards instead of doing as he was bid. It turns out another new fun technology is that they are now wearing contacts to counteract any glamouring… kinda sweet for us but not for Eric who is being taken to what the Governor chillingly called “camp”. Eric gets as far as the truck outside before baffling his captors by flying away – looks like they’ve only killed and studied younger vampires.
Even later, Eric returns just as Willa, the Governors sexy southern cross wearing daughter, takes out her anti-glamouring contact lenses. She’s all “oh shit” but he’s already got her by the soul, through his eyes. He asks to be let in and she’s all OF COURSE and Eric growls in such a way that I remember why I like this show. Can’t wait to see where this goes.
BILITH AND VAGINAS
After Bilith’s encounter with the crazy naked Lilith ladies he begins experiencing a bunch of vampires pain who are being tortured in some way by humans. Then he suddenly falls into a catatonic state as baby Vamp Jessica looks on helpless wanting nothing more than to help him. As she left with the trails of faith trying to wake him up, we are brought to a sunny oasis where we meet Lilith who is wearing clothes that of course still show her snatch. What the fuck? Did HBO think we wouldn’t recognize her without seeing her bush? Long story short, Lilith calls the realm ‘No Place”, and gives Bilith vague answers but ultimately eludes that his visions from earlier were real. DUNDUNDUN. Add prophecy to Biliths powers. And the most exciting one we see just at the close of the episode: All of our favorite vamps locked in a circular white room where they are burned. Bilith must save them…? Ugh I’m still confused as to what the hell he actually is. This whole thing is far too ambiguous. Actually the better parts of this madness were the subtleties of Jessica who was such a scene stealer this week. PS: Bill also fed on a blood-escort while catatonic by somehow forcing her telepathically to him by contorting and breaking her body, and then literally sucking the blood out through her mouth. Its kind of cool but also… meh.
A HANDSOME STRANGER
Sookie while trying to be more normal and human is late for work and then proceeds to show SHES THE SAME NAÏVE ASSHOLE FROM SEASON ONE by helping a bleeding man on the side of the road. In true Sookie fashion she of course takes the complete stranger back to her house for some tender loving care. Sure, she’s not that happy to be doing this but she should know this is not a good idea by now. Of course they also oddly hit it off hinting at Sookie getting a new romance. Handsome newbie is what I’ll call him but that’s how forgettable this episode is. Anyway, handsome newbie seems so perfect I’m constantly expecting him to drop the façade and admit to BEING FUCKING WARLOW (possible considering Warlow is so aged he could have more insane vamp-powers). Whatever this ends with her leading this complete Halfling fairy stranger to the fairy nightclub as a safe haven.
MERLOTTES GOT ITS FIRST HIPSTERS
In a surprising move, four hipsters enter Merlottes and proceed to groove their way into the plotline. They are part of some Vampire Unity Society thing and the main girlie drops some knowledge that her grandparents were freedom riders so she’s is inserting herself into that same naive but humanitarian cause. Her first order of business is to immediately meet Sam and admit she knows what he is. She then gets all high and mighty and tells him he should come out as shifter to fight back at all the hate. Sam, is of course against this but mostly because of his charge: Emma who is busy playing dress up with Lafayette. Nicole Wright, the hipster girl, reminds Sam that people are dying and he really cant sit this fight out. Ugh.
Later on Sam returns home to his new single dad hijinks when the sitcom is interrupted by Alcide, Martha, and some other weres. Alcide still tripping on ‘leadership’ is acting like such a huge tool that I’m actually confused. He thinks Emma should come with them. Martha thinks Emma should come with them. Sam, Lafayette, and EMMA all think she should stay with Sam but apparently living in a pack makes you dumber because they jump my favorite boys and take little Emma away by force. Nicole and her fellow hipsters watch amazed from the forest, talking pictures of EVERYHING.