Game of Thrones – “The Rains of Castamere” Season 3 – Episode 9 A Recap – By Sagebeth

Woof. Of course episode 9 of every season of Game of Throne is a ridiculous gut punch of awesome, tears, talent and this seasons certainly didn’t disappoint the little tradition. Rather than gush about the tragedy that becomes a major noble family, hilarity spinning everywhere, and heart breaking goodbyes we had to make to some major players after this episode, we’ll just jump straight into the recap:


Robb is busy planning his game of mega-risk, also known as taking Casterly Rock from the Lannisters. In a move showing both maturity and growth Robb recognizes his mother, the prisoners, knowledge and strategy by asking her opinion on the whole situation. Its dangerous and that is before the fact that they need Walder Frey to cooperate to even try it. Robb, sadly proving that he does in fact know the dire straights he is facing says they will either succeed or die the same way Ned Stark died in season one – no worse. Gulp. Here is where I should have known ABSOLUTELY NOTHING would work out but alas I was too excited just to be watching the episode to start analyzing right away. This bit ends with the icy Catelyn telling her eldest son to show the Lannisters what it like to take anyway everything they love.

Flash to Robb’s Direwolf Greywind leading his men to the Twins, the home of the Freys. Once inside Walder is as grimy and gross as we remember from both season one and Harry Potter. He serves bread and salt as he welcomes them as guests in his home, honoring a tradition that states that you cannot harm a person in your home once they have partaken in some of your “bread and salts”. Robb emotes as he apologizes for breaking his word to Walder. Walder, always the pervy asshat, explains that he should not apologize to him because he spurned not him but one of his ‘girls’. This leads to him parading out all his daughters and granddaughters who range from homely to butterface. Walder teases that Robb could have taken both of his red headed twins. He even forgets one of their names at the end – HILARITY. We also get the gift of getting of silly Edmure’s reaction shots to the girls, wondering what ugo he has in store for him. Robb apologizes with the theatre expected ending with Walder slow-clapping sarcastically. At face value everything is still running so much better than expected I still wasn’t sensing anything truly wrong.

We are then treated to Walder ogling Talisa and admitting he, like Robb, would have broken his oath to bed her. Robb somehow keeps his cool and lets Walder completely disrespect him and Talisa all for the sake of their ‘friendship’. You can tell behind Robb’s kingly demeanor he is doing all he can not to kill this man but what Walder says it actually very reassuring to viewers. He doesn’t understand things like “love” but he can understand breaking an oath to get under Talisa’s skirts.  Finally its time for the wedding as Walder announces that the wine will flow red (Red indeed!), the music will play loud (and timely!), and both families will be able to put the whole mess behind them. Everything seems far better than expected – almost too good. Strike that almost.

Outside of Yunkai, Dany and her band of merry men are discussing the city and its weaknesses. Daario, Dany’s new sellsword and all around beautiful admirer, shows her a back gate that he could get in through with a small party (Her best men: Jorah and Greyworm) and potentially just open the front gates to her whole army. Also, being the cool son of a bitch that he is, Daario continues to butter Dany up by professing his feelings on slavery: “I have no interest in slaves. A man cannot make love to property.” Panty dropper for the mother of dragons. Jorah, bristles his feathers, always slighted whenever a man one ups him to Daenerys. He actually calls Daario out saying that he may be leading he and Greyworm to the slaughter which just makes him sound like a jealous little girl fighting over a pretty doll – you’re not impressing the lady Jorah. Daario, always way too cool, says that Jorah is paranoid and that in his opinion only dishonest people think this way. Jorah needs to stop conveniently forgetting he was once part of a plan to assassinate the very woman he loves and serves. Greyworm is the deciding factor. The former slave, learning to talk and think for himself, trusts Daario. Before they leave Barristan offers himself but Jorah insists he stays by Dany’s side to guard her.

That night Daario informs us that he is the greatest whistler in the land, around now I’m also thinking he thinks he’s the greatest at nearly everything everywhere. Jorah is also as annoyed (I’m also tickled) as me. Daario will enter through a back gate where the guards know him, and he will kill them then whistle for Jorah and Greyworm to enter. Daario, cool guy extraordinaire, does this so quickly and cleanly he is cleaning off his blade with no blood on him when Jorah and Greyworm enter the gate. Daario doubts there are more guards – but is promptly proven wrong as they are suddenly rushed by a dozen men. Each warrior does some fun fighting. I sort of love watching Greyworm fight with his shield and spear. It looks melodic. Just as Jorah jeers Daario for underestimating the men they would have to face they are rushed by another group of about a dozen men. The men get ready to fight for both Dany and their lives.

Back in Dany’s Oprah tent, Dany is impatient during the battle. How long does it take to sack a gd city? Yet as soon as she begins to sort of worry the army returns. Jorah and Greyworm looking bloody and beaten come baring the good news that they won and that the Yunkai army ended up surrendering. The first thing out of Dany’s mouth is asking about the missing Daario. We actually see Jorah’s heart snap in half but right when we expect Daario is dead he reminds us that he is cool guy extraordinaire by entering the scene covered in blood dramatically draping the Yunkai flag at Daenerys feet. The city is hers.


Beyond the wall, Sam and Gilly are getting closer to the wall. Sam, from his constant book reading is telling us and Gilly about a secret entrance at the wall close to the main one. He knows where it is and plans to use it for him and Gilly. Gilly is so super impressed with him that she call him a wizard. Seriously, she calls Sam a wizard and he literally looks like he is floating on happiness – I’m pretty sure he has mentioned wanting to be a wizard before. Me too Sam – me too. This leads to them finally getting a glimpse of the famed wall. Gilly beams now, telling her nameless son that her/his father (ewwy) always told her no Wildling has looked upon the wall and lived – I hope you aren’t getting ahead of yourself sweetie.


Arya and the Hound are still sharing a horse looking wicked strange (hopefully planning some sort of goofy spin off), traveling to Robb and Catelyn, when they come upon some sort of pig merchant with his wagon stuck in the mud. You can always count on Sandor to sound like a biggest creep in the room, as he instructs Arya to not run and that to pretend he is her father while he goes to steal this dudes ride so they can stop sharing a horse like tools (also to sneak into the wedding easily). Of course we aren’t sure what he doing initially as he just walks up to the man and starts helping him fix his wagon. Humorously the dude thinks he needs more help but the Hound lifts the whole thing on his own – HA. Once its fixed he knocks the merchant out and takes out a blade to kill him. Arya, willful and courageous as ever, runs over to stop him, begging him not to kill the man. Sandor thinks she is too soft: Dead rats don’t squeak. Arya isn’t having it though because she knows she isn’t some soft minded little lady. She calls him out for thinking he is tough for trying to scare her, killing little boys and old people and then begins to compare him to Jaqen who she calls a “real killer”. Arya gets a lot of shit for being all talk but she has some huge balls to be saying all this to his face right now. Sandor, thinking he is enlightening her, tells her that she is too kind and it will get her killed. In a timely manner the merchant awakens now only to promptly knocked out again by THIS TIME Arya. She walks away leaving the Sandor to maybe reconsider his words.

Later on Arya looks down from a hillside at the Twins with such longing that my heart is breaking just rewatching this scene. She stops her melancholy to chide Sandor for eating so much of their stolen pig meat. He tells her to quit her worrying, because he noticed that she keeps checking the keep to make sure her family hasn’t left yet. He vocalizes her fear that she is so close that she thinks she might never make it to them. I think I have something in my eye – sniff sniff – don’t mind me. Sandor, always the asshole, goes on and on about knowing her fear because he has seen it on plenty of faces. Arya has had E-fucking-nough. She taunts him a bit about his own fear: the one she has seen on his face when Beric’s sword lit up in flames. Fire. She also informs him that she knows the gruesome story behind his heinous facial burn (his older brother shoved him into a fire when he was little over a toy). She also compares his fear to one of a little girl so when Sandor tries to verbally bash her back we aren’t surprised. He teases that this is the closest she’s been to family since she watched Ned get his neck “sniped”. Arya, looking insanely serious, tells the Hound that she is going to kill him. She is going to put a dagger through his eye. She walks away again to go stare down at her family that is so close yet still so far away.


Getting closer to the wall, Team No Legs, is passing by some land that is gifted to the Nights Watch but left empty due to Wildling raids. Bran knows all this because the dearly departed Maester Luwin taught him. Before they can continue their journey Jojen tells everyone a storm is coming and just as Bran denies noticing any such thing they hear the thunder in the distance. So they decide to take shelter in the abandon tower there. Inside Bran decides it time to ask the million dollar question: How do they plan on getting over the wall? Even with Hodors strength he doubts he could just keep carrying him up and across – Ha. Osha’s method to get here doesn’t help either – she took a boat around the wall in general. Jojen knows there are 19 castles guarding the wall but only 3 are active. Perhaps they could luck out picking a castle and just cha-cha through? Bran says not because the castles that are abandoned are sealed with ice and stone. Meera, showing that she could turn into a fun character, insists that they will just have to open them up again – Easy peazy. Their planning is interrupted by a man on horse back.

Meanwhile, not far away Orwell is using his bird eyes to scout, finding a old man who is a horse breeder for the Nights Watch. Jon, with his pretty hair and sad eyes counters that they take the horses but not to kill the old man because he isn’t a threat. Orwell reiterates that Jon is not definitely not one of them. Jon, using his brain power, explains that he means the Nights Watch will search harder for murderers than for some horses thieves. Giantsbane, looking intimidating, lets Jon know that killing crows inside their own castle will be hard but killing people out in the open is exactly what they do. He orders them to charge and we are treated to a mini chaotic Wildling raid. It further proves to me how undisciplined they are. As they charge Jon whacks his sword on a rock alerting the old man to his impending doom, giving him a chance to get away. Ygritte aims her bow at the fleeing old man but Jon shouts at her to stop, leaving her shot buried in a tree. She looks at him like – seriously am I going to have to make jewelry out of your junk?!

Back at the abandoned tower filled with Team No Legs, they are encountering the fleeing old man by horse followed closely by the Wildlings. The old man yields a bunch but you know the Wildlings don’t really care about that. Around now Hodor’s apparent fear of thunder is starting to get out of control. Since it has begun he has looked uneasy but now is starting to get super agitated and loud with each boom. Osha cannot calm the gentle giant and they all fear the Wildlings will discover them due to Hodor hodoring. Bran actually tells Hodor to stop hodoring while trying to calm him but nothing is working. Orwell is outside starting to take notice of the strange noises seemingly coming from the tower but before Hodor can fully give up their hiding spot Bran does something amazing, unexpected, and super awesome. His eyes suddenly go white, much like when a warg does with his animal mind thing and he gets INSIDE Hodor’s mind first quieting him and then putting him to sleep. Everyone, and the audience, are amazed because not only has Bran claimed to only be able to travel into animal minds when he sleeps but he’s not supposed to be able to do it to humans! Bran doesn’t even really seem to know what he did or perhaps he is not ready to admit it. They can’t high give yet though because the Wildling horse fiasco is still happening outside. They kill the old mans horse (because fuck horses?), and Orwell decides that maybe someone might finally take him seriously and tells Giantsbane that he heard shouting up in the tower. Giantsbane insists it was thunder but Orwell, a full grown adult man with a sick wargging ability, who gets no respect, says he knows the difference between thunder and shouting. Giantsbane, not really known for his brain, decides it must be ghosts then because LOGICAL CHOICES ARENT FOR WILDLINGS.  Orwell sends his bird friend up to check out the situation.

Meanwhile the old man is on the ground trying to still somewhat fight his way out of this situation but Giantsbane insists its silly and asks for the ‘grandpa’ to give him the knife. Oddly Giantsbane is playing this situation softly, maybe for Jon or perhaps he legitimately isn’t keen on being sadistic. Orwell insists he just cut his throat and be done with it so the old man doesn’t tell the crows they are coming. The old man asks to die on his feet and Giantsbane lifts him up saying something about the old man understanding the situation. Orwell, abandons his feeling of a group hiding in the tower just to insist that Jon kill the old man – to prove his loyalty. This is about the time Shaggy dog and Summer return from a hunting trip and Jojen tells Bran as much hinting that he should get his warg on. Bran doesn’t think he can – still insisting he doesn’t know what he doing. Jojen flat out tells him that after getting into Hodors mind a wolf would be nothing. So Sams not the wizard but Bran might be? This about the time Jon tries to kill the old man but we all know Jon is too noble, too kind, and too loyal to even pretend anymore. With everyone watching and Ygritte chanting for him to “do it”, Jon swings back but blatantly deflates proving he will in fact not do it. Ygritte without pausing lets one of her arrows fly into the old man, effectively killing the man for Jon but it is too late and the damage has been done. Orwell narrates the situation perfectly calling Jon a crow and dubbing Ygritte his brow wife protecting him. Before they all charge him Jon pushes Ygritte back onto the ground effectively halting her fighting for him.

Gaintsbane goes after Ygritte exclaiming his bafflement that she would seriously die for “one of them” just as Bran gets all wargy seeping into both Summer and Shaggy dog. The wolves join the fight and for an awesome second Jon has the most perfect reaction shot of  “So anyone see where all these dire wolves came from?”. It ends as Jon seemingly kills Orwell with a blade through his chest but Orwell (Someone I wish I paid for attention to before) wargs out before his last breath sending his bird friend dive bombing at Jon Snow’s pretty face. After the bird gets in a few good blood gushing pecks Jon fights it off enough to realize he has beaten enough of his foes that he can make a getaway – running to a horse. Ygritte, still tangled with Giantsbane probably in shock at how fast all their men were killed, stands to run after him but he gets away on horseback probably heading straight for Castle Black to warn them of the oncoming battle-war-whatever. Ygritte watches with a look in her eyes that scares betrayal and colors she plans to die his cock when she turns it into a necklace. I must admit – part of me expected Jon’s utter loyalty but Ygritte is a sweet fine fire kissed hottie that I am a bit shocked that this pretty boy is choosing a life of celibacy in a boys club over her.


By nightfall Bran has made a decision. Everything Jojen has told him is true – He needs to find the three eyed raven north of the wall. Osha gets all bitchy about it again but he hushes her but explaining that he will be going north of the wall with the Reeds but she will be taking Rickon (who very well could be the Winterfel heir) to one of the Stark Bannermen. Rickon cries and begs to come with him as his brother to protect him (aww) but Bran sees this as him protecting Rickon as the Stark heir. Smart boy. Rickon acts out a bit but ends up crying in Osha’s lap as she insists they will have their own adventures. Bran also lets her know that she can say no to this request but Osha in her time with the Starks has built a loyalty to them. They took her in when they had no cause to do such a thing. She decides to leave right that moment in the middle of the night and bids the Reeds to keep Bran safe because (double aww) Bran means the world to her.

Let the wedding begin. Back at the Twins while men wrestle and drink outside Walder Frey is walking one of his daughters down the isle to wed Edmure Tully. Covered in thick lace, Edmure looks tired with the prospect of wedding a Frey ugo and can‘t see her face. Finally once revealed we see that Walder pulled a fast one: This daughter is FINE. Like cute as sin, and Edmure can’t hide his joy at bedding this young girl. Walder makes eye contact with Robb and makes a face that screams: Look what you missed out on. He is very amused with their surprise – but not nearly as amused as he is going to be when his final surprise is revealed. About here is where my silly naïve mind felt the tension completely leaving the air. This was when it truly felt like all was well for the time being. I was wrong. As the wedding concludes and they head to the Grand Feast Hall a weird tension slowly creeps back in.


It begins with everyone all smiles. Catelyn and Blackfish discuss the ridiculousness that is Edmure. Even Roose Bolton looks more jolly than usual. Unlike everyone else there he isn’t drinking (“dulls the senses”) much like his dinner with Jamie and Brienne. Is there a difference between work and pleasure for him? This was a question I had before this episode concluded. Back to the reception, Walder informs everyone its time for the bedding ceremony – the tradition that sent Tyrion into a homicidal rage last week. The young bride is rightfully uncomfortable and frightened as the men carry her to the bedchamber while Edmure looks hilariously excited at the prospect. This whole thing is basically an excuse for the party to watch the new couple fool around so boo bedding ceremony. Talisa is rightfully a bit disturbed but this whole notion but Robb is in too good of a mood to let an old grim tradition destroy his evening. I bet if you asked him he would say nothing could ruin this evening for him. It gets even better as him and Talisa begin to discuss their unborn child. If it’s a boy she wants to name him Eddard – FUCKING WRITING THIS IS LIKE STABBING MYSELF IN THE HEART.  They kiss. Catelyn, for the first time looks happy for them. This is when I first really saw that the floor was going to fall out from under them. Everyone was too happy.

A man closes a giant door to the room and Catelyn watches, initially just observing but then the band switches songs and starts a hefty rendition of “Rains of Castamere”. This is the episodes namesake and has also been used a bunch of times on the series. Most recently Cersei explained the songs meaning in order to intimidate Margaery. It is about a House that Tywin Lannister completely wiped off the map when they tried to rise up against him. Catelyn, knowing her history, immediately puts herself on alert knowing that this is a very bad sign.

Outside in a cage, Greywind begins to whine also sensing that something wrong is about to happen. Stark men are getting sloppy drunk on wine outside as well. Around now is when Arya and Sandor roll up in their porky wagon. However they are told the feast is over even though the music can be heard and soldiers can be seen running into the keep. When the Hound looks over his shoulder he finds his charge is missing.

Inside the music stops and Walder calls for Robb’s attention. Catelyn, disturbed with the sudden change in atmosphere notices that Roose is giving her this look that just sent off even more warning bells in her head. The look asked the question: You know what’s coming next right? Her expression is pure panic and anxiety. Roose giving her all the hints she needs looks down at his own arm resting on the table between them. She pulls back his sleeve to find – GASP – chain mail! I may be out of touch with fashion in the Seven Kingdoms but I’m fairly sure chain mail isn’t supposed to be worn to weddings. Walder is saying how he hasn’t given a present to Robb yet just as Catelyn slaps Roose Bolton and screams her oldest sons name. Roose scrambles to get away from Catelyn as a man rushes Talisa from behind and stabs the shit out of her stomach. That’s right – Talisa and her unborn baby were just gutted in front of Robb. He is absolutely frozen in place. All I can hear is her telling Robb that she wanted to name the baby Ned. HEART=BROKEN. Crossbows fire from the rafters as the violence speeds along. Robb is hit, as his men are butchered around him. Chaos it seems, is a ladder, as well as, a wedding turned massacre. Catelyn is also hit at least once with a crossbow bolt. Walder watches this whole thing, drinking in the carnage like a fine wine. He is so amused its insulting.

Back outside Arya watches a bunch of Stark men butchered by Freys. Then she hears Greywind starting to flip out where he is tied but before she can free him a bunch of Frey men surround the pen and fire crossbows are him. OH NO PUPPY! A second Direwolf, dead. Right as Arya watches Greywind die she realizes she has the worst childhood ever. Sandor finds her and hits her over the head knocking her out proving her right. The only thing he tells her is that “it is too late”. This is probably the nicest he has ever been to anybody other than Sansa. He carries her away from the carnage.

In the hall, the violence is subsiding due to everyone being dead. Catelyn is injured but alive dragging herself to cover under a table. She spies Walder Frey sitting at his head seat watching the bloodshed. His young comely wife is hiding under their table for safety. Robb, hugely injured but alive begins to drag himself to Talisa’s body on the ground. By the time he gets there she is already pale and gone, having bled out on the floor quickly. He grasps her torn open stomach much like he did when she was alive several moments ago. Walder sarcastically comments to the room that the King of the North arises when he notices Robb. Catelyn using the moment, lunges out from her hiding spot and takes Walder’s young wife as a hostage holding a knife to her throat. She demands that he “Let it end” and then ends some hopeful pleases as she argues for the life of her first and oldest son. This actress earned a ton of praise from me for this episode tonight. She promises they will “forget this”. We all know that would not work though and as Walder points out: Catelyn had sworn as oath to him before which is the entire reason their house is being brutalized.

At her wits end, Catelyn nonsensically and sadly begs for Robb to get away or to escape. At this point this is a great lady who has lost her loving husband, and she thinks two other young sons. She simply cannot bear this entire experience – AND NIETHER CAN I. Catelyn swears on her honor that she will kill Walder’s young wife if he doesn’t let Robb go. For a beat we all imagine a reality where somehow that worked and Robb Stark made it out of the Twins that night but alas Walder Frey admits that he can just get another wife so Catelyn can kill that current one all she wants. Robb, (OMG TEARS) calls Catelyn “mother” in way that feels like a comforting hug. Roose Bolton, that snake slithers back into the frame and delivers a cowardly killing blow to Robb, informing him that “The Lannisters send their regards”. TRAITOR! Robb Stark is dead.


Catelyn wails and slices the throat of the young girl she is holding hostage until someone approaches her from behind as well and slits her own throat.  She rains out blood from her neck as she drops to the floor. Catelyn Stark is dead.


They move to a mute credit sequence to let everyone bask in the haunting impression this episode left on the viewer. Just silence and complete tragedy.
I feel broken.

Editors Note: I apparently it’s a thing to record yourself watching TV.  I don’t think anyone wants to see my “Catelyn Evil Dead 2 blood spewing death scene pooh face” but here’s a bunch of people flipping out over this episode. Enjoy.


~ by ATOM on June 3, 2013.

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