Wrestlemania 29 Preview

wrestlemania-29

If there is one thing that can tear me away from a new episode of Game of Thrones on a sunday night, it’s the showcase of the immortals, the Superbowl of fake underwear fighting….It’s WRRRRRESTLEMANIA! That’s right, tomorrow is Wrestlemania 29 at Metlife Stadium in New York and who’s super excited for it!? Not this guy!  I mean yeah I’ll watch it and probably enjoy portions but the card isn’t really making my socks go up and down.  I’ll go over the card and tell you why each match is going to suck.  Let the negativity begin.

Team Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins vs Brodus Clay, Tensei, Camron and Naomi:  Yes this is happening and may open up Wrestlemania.  A match I wouldn’t watch on Raw if every channel except USA were blacked out on my cable box.  I’m big fans of Team Rhodes Scholars but this match is just one of those crowd pleasing dance off throw away bullshit matches.  I just don’t…and keep the two fat guys away from children!

Jericho vs Fandango: This match actually had a logical build up between the new comer Fandango and “Cool Dad” Chris Jericho and I think this may deliver.  My favorite Raw moments in the last few weeks have been the “you can’t wrestle” chants directed at Fandango followed by him pulling off a flawless guillotine leg drop and a hush of silence.  The downsides are this is a harsh look at Jericho who’s better days are long gone and a very talented young guy saddled with a dancing gimmick and an uncertain future.

Ryback vs Mark Henry: Maximum strength and zero stamina, this match could be a total failure.  Mark Henry is shoot super strong and thrives when he takes on smaller dudes.  Ryback couldn’t shellshock Tensei so I have my doubts he’s gonna do it to Henry despite the WWE loving those “moments”  This match will most likely suck.

Team Hell No vs Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston: My negativity toward this match is very biased because I think this should have been a singles match between Ziggler and Bryan for oh I don’t know “The World Heavyweight Title.”  The milk has gone bad, The expiration date on Team Hell No was up months ago so I’m hoping this will be the death rattle of this duo who will hopefully go on to bigger and better things alone.  The focus on the other team will be on Big E Langston making his debut, should be interesting.  My interest in this match is a bite above a “meh”

Brock Lesner vs Triple H: A mild interest with a pit in my stomach that Triple H is going to win because he probably owes himself a mania win after two jobs to The Undertaker.  There first match was decent/good, this one will probably be the same.

Sheamus, Randy Orton, The Big Show vs The Shield:  After suffering through Big Show, Orton, Sheamus vs 3MB, we finally get the real deal.  I very much enjoy The Shield thus I am looking forward to this match.  Most are predicting a Randy Orton heel turn, I for one would NOT enjoy Orton telling these guys what to do every week in a vest and no pants.  The Shield is too awesome to become f’ing Legacy.  If anything they should take in new members.  Oh hey Kofi Kingston, what’s going on?

Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger: I don’t care who wins,  the only thing I want to hear when this match ends….

CM Punk vs The Undertaker:  Well this match right here…The unfortunate passing of Paul Bearer (William Moody) set the stage for CM Punk took it to The Undertaker in the weeks leading up to Mania will some real heel shit using Bearer’s real life passing to mock The Undertaker.  This match will be great, both of these guys would never have it any different.  The outcome was hazy for me, but with Punk reportedly getting time off after Mania I don’t see him breaking the streak.

John Cena vs The Rock: I mean I really want to care about this match but I don’t.  Never a Cena fan but last year I was really pulling for him, he deserved that win, this year he’s been pretty insufferable with awful promos and the like. Yet I still hate the Rock so maybe…no one wins, Lesner kills everyone, Punk and Taker do an hour long Broadway and they cut Rock/Cena due to time constraints. Ah who am I kidding, we all know “The Champ is heeeeeere!”

So that’s the card, not too thrilled but hopefully the WWE pulls of an entertaining show and proves me wrong.

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~ by ATOM on April 6, 2013.

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