WWE: Summerslam 2012 Preview and Predictions
Summerslam is a few days away and since I refuse to review the 3 hours of video packages and commercials for tout that has become Monday Night Raw, I figured I’d weight in and give my 2 cents on this years Summerslam. Will this Summerslam be more Bret vs Bulldog than Mable vs Desiel? Time will tell, let’s take a look at the card and make some predictions.
Santino vs Cesaro: In the history of anything that has used title belts to represent champions, no one has lost more contests and kept his title longer than Santino. He’s great at the physical comedy and people (children) love him but he does not need the US title. Cesaro is a great young talent and given the exposure I think he can get over in the WWE.
Prime Time Players vs R-Truth and Kofi: Poor AW, he said the L word on Twitter (Linda McMahon) and now he’s out of a job. I hope WWE stays the course with these two guys cause I think it could bring a fresh element to the (nonexsitant) tag-team division and maybe a win here will send R-Truth down a dark road where we resumes his evil spider-stu version of the R-Truth character.
Rey Mysterio vs The Miz: This match is happening because Stuff. Rey needs shit to do while he’s under Tommy Dreamer rules and The Miz should defend the IC title at a big show like Summerslam. I’m sure this match will extrmely OK.
Winner: The Miz.
Kane vs Daniel Bryan: Sure I’m a Bryan supporter but I think any objective mind has to admit he’s so over with the crowd and he’s carried a lot of the 3 hour Raw’s this last month. That being said it’s disappointing he gets a throw away match against Kane because stuff. No word on weather Charlie Sheen is going to have any
involvement teased at the 1000th Raw. If he does I’m sure it’ll be in the form of a hideous looking awkward punch to Daniel Bryan’s ear to which he will crumble to the ground and everyone will go crazy because Twitter.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Jericho: Besides the awkwardness of last weeks Piper’s Pit (sorry Roddy but it was bad….not that your reading this….lemme know if you are) Jericho and Ziggler has been a well built feud. I thought maybe make some kinda stipulation like if Jericho losses he retires but this isn’t 1993 and that stipulation would pretty much ruin the out come of the match since this is it for Jericho since Fozzy goes on tour. This match has potential to be the match of the night.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler.
Sheamus vs Del Rio: I’m enjoy both of these guys as wrestlers and performers but this feud could have been a lot better. I did enjoy last weeks Del Rio with his hot cops assault on Sheamus and the match has since been canceled per Booker T and his tux. I’m sure this week that gets amended because fighting. I think Sheamus holds the belt til Survivor Series.
Brock Lesner vs Triple: I’ve hated everything about this feud from the rediculous arm breaking of Triple H and Bald Micheals to the nauseating amount of promos showing people not being able to talk about each others kids. Fuck everything about this, and if this doesn’t end with Lesner destory Triple H, eating his family, deficating in the ring and throwing it at the crowd I will not be satisfied. Watching Lesner run away from Triple H every week is laughable and it needs to stop. All kidding aside I predict Lesner winning, going to work on Triple H after the bell and then Taker comes out to help HHH, setting up 8 months of Undertaker vs Lesner promo videos to playing during 48 minutes of every monday night Raw for the next 4 years.
Winner: Brock Lesner
CM Punk vs John Cena vs The Big Show: At the 1000th Raw they teased CM Punk’s heel turn which excited me because maybe that would mean he’d stop calling people gay and actually make conherent point which only the heels seem to do on WWE television. Well I’m sitting here with blue balls cause it’s been a month and it was just a tease and CM Punk hasn’t gone full heel. That’s why I’m predicting SummerSlam ends with CM Punk going something truely evil and underhanded and ending the night by defeating Cena. I hope.
Winner: CM Punk.
Check back sunday night for full results and plenty of egg on my face because my predictions are usually wrong. Later!