Game of Thrones: Season 2 Episode 8: The Prince of Winterfell

 

“Later in the episode we see Theon seems to have decided to stay in Winterfell unknowing about the posse coming for his head. He does however want to cut the burnt kiddy bodies down. His now downright sociopathic first mate urges them not to because they’re pretty and really bring the courtyard together.”

Episode 8 “The Prince of Winterfell” Recapview

War has been coming to Westros all season but this past episode truly racketed up the tension, and placed each of the dominos into place for the final acts of season two. King’s Landing is preparing for battle as Stannis and his fingerless loyal servant Davos grows near. Tywin is riding out against Robb, while Robb is riding his new noble ladylove. Theon, the episode titled “Prince of Winterfell”, must soon prepare to defend himself and Winterfell. Dany is busy being bitchy, while getting ready to enter the ominous House of the Undying.

THAT TIME PRINCE THEONS SITUATION SOMEHOW GETS WORSE
“I saw the bodies above your gate. Which one gave you a tougher fight, the cripple or the six year old?” —Yara

Winterfell still has its newest décor of disgustingly burnt children hanging in the courtyard as we see a bunch of dead ravens dumped at Theon’s feet. His men are doing this in hopes of keeping Robb Stark from finding out about their hostile takeover – of course we know Maester Luwin has already sent out a raven with the message and a Lords bastard son is already en route to the keep – So a big DOH’ on Theon’s part. In fact Theon seems overly nervous about Robb finding out about the boys, as if afraid of his old best friends reaction. Then worsening Theon’s hopes, instead of the 500 men he requested he only gets about a dozen – Yara, his sister, circling him teasingly in the courtyard on horseback.
Instead of the high praise he expected from his occupation of Winterfell, Yara tells him to leave his new little self-appointed castle, and that their father would like a word with him – which is the understatement of the century. She also critiques his horrible treatment of the Stark boys (presuming Bran and Rickon are the burnt bodies), and then calls him the “dumbest cunt alive”.  She also calls them brave for running – Yara!Love. Theon of course threatens her but she threatens right back causing the other men to fall to a hush. Then she tries to convey her warm feelings for him through a story about him as a terrible crying baby that smiled at her. Essentially she is telling him all this so he will leave Winterfell and therefore not die. Yara I wish there were more you and less Theon because to me he is still just a horrible crying baby. She tells him to not die so far from the sea and makes her getaway then, as that was probably too much emotion for her to handle in one sitting. As for Theon, he seems somewhat baffled that he has achieved this tremendous thing and everyone just wants him to throw it away.  A terribly crying baby, indeed.

Later in the episode we see Theon seems to have decided to stay in Winterfell unknowing about the posse coming for his head. He does however want to cut the burnt kiddy bodies down. His now downright sociopathic first mate urges them not to because they’re pretty and really bring the courtyard together. During this ridiculousness Luwin gets a peek at what we all suspected. He spies Osha sneaking off with some loaves of bread and follows her down into the lower crypts of Winterfell. Theon never killed the Starks, and the bodies therefore belong to the orphans from the farm, because the Starks are busy hiding directly under his nose. I hope he finds this out right before he dies so his oh so large pride dies as well. His pride is the reason he killed two innocent children. He simply couldn’t return to Winterfell without some proof of his awesomeness. The problem is Theon has absolutely no awesomeness. We leave with a shot of Bran listening to Luwin and Osha, with his impossibly perfect hair still intact.

THAT TIME JON SNOW JUST DIDN’T GET IT – STILL
“We’re even now, Jon Snow.” —Ygritte

Jon is in chains, being led now by the cheeky Ygritte to someone called the Lord of Bones, who is wearing the impractical bone getup ever. This dude jingles a bit with every step. Ygritte fights a bit for Jon’s life – insisting their new “king”, Mance, will want to decide what to do with him because of his Stark lineage. We also learn the other Nights Watch who Jon Snow lost episodes ago were all killed save for Halfhand. Poor Jon Snows honor has left him in chains, and some of his fellows dead but oddly enough is the reason he still has his head. Jon takes responsibility for their deaths and Halfhand wants Jon to make it all count for something, then he loudly and publically picks a fight with him. Ygritte looks on either suspecting something or feeling something for her favorite crow.

Sam and the other Nights Watch are digging latrines when they stumble upon a large buried stone with markings from the First Men, and underneath is an ancient Nights Watch cloak, which is wrapped around some old dragonglass weapons. I love how grotesque these men look now. Even Sam’s teeth are some horrid rusting yellow color. Why would a brother hide them there they wonder.

THAT TIME ROBB HAD SEX WITH HIGH MORALS
“Jaime Lannister has played you for a fool, you’ve weakened our position, you’ve brought discord into our camp,” -Robb

While in the midst of war, having four siblings known as hostages, and an engagement to another woman Robb Stark makes time for a stroll with his new noble lady fake out field medic Talisa. He waxes on and on about not wanting any of the kingly things therefore proving he is probably best for the job. Their gross romantic walk is interrupted by one of Robb’s men with news: The Kingslayer has escaped for a second time. Robb, like the audience asks how. Catelyn Stark apparently let him go in some attempt to free her daughters, knowing Robb would never agree to such a thing.
While Robb, Catelyn, and angry soldier father argue about what they had wanted Jamie for. This is all for moot though as Robb is in fact the Gd King of the North and his word should have been the final word. Catelyn may have saved Jamie’s life, but that didn’t mean she had to have Brienne take him all the way home to King’s Landing like a nitwit. Catelyn between this and your dislike of everything Jon Snow I’m starting to somewhat dislike you. Undoubtedly the second Robb leaves his mother arrested he most likely thinks: Now where is the hottie my mom doesn’t want me talking to.

Meanwhile, Brienne is taking Jamie back to the Lannister’s and as she takes off her hood we get some amusing dialogue. He mocks and teases her calling her boring and ugly as well as a beast. He also tries to goad her into taking his irons off – but Brienne seems to suspect he’d run even thought he is essentially out of harms way now.

Back at the camp, Robb is getting lone visits from Talisa now. He immediately starts complaining again but stops slightly short of out right whining. Talisa just seems gravitationally pulled into his presence as she begins telling some of her back-story which had the most astounding effect on me. It was amazing written and well executed monologuing about her little brothers near death experience with her watching on. A serf had saved him and this whole act pushing her to vow never living in a slave land again demonstrating her striking moral values and of course nothing could turn Robb on more than some amazing great moral values. He blurts out that he doesn’t want to marry the “Frey girl”. Talisa just an enamoured as him says she doesn’t want him to either. Then we are treated to this weeks sexytimes in the forms of hottie Talisa unlacing Robb’s entire outfit in record time as they begin to make love right there on the floor. Hot to watch but all around a bad idea for Robb imo.

THAT TIME ARYA CHEATS A GENIE
“Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only death.” —Jaqen

Tywin is meeting with his council who are predicting that Stannis will take King’s Landing. He still doesn’t want Joffrey and Cersei to flee though – what about Tyrion? Does he not care? This somehow leads Tywin to decide to march on Robb Stark directly now. Arya is noticeably disturbed as she had planned on murdering Tywin it seems, as well as worrying about her brother. Making it worse for her, Tywin gives her to The Mountain who can also be nicknamed the giant sociopath.

When she next gets a chance she runs through Harrenhal searching for Jaqen.  After finally finding him, she berates him for being missing when she needed him. Since Tywin is gone he insists she must name a third man for him to kill other than Tywin. As viewers all chant Joffrey’s name Arya pulls one another one of her A-game cards. She names the man herself: Jaqen H’Gar. He seems extremely irritated and tells her to take it back like she just told him he smelled during recess. Arya, the clever, says she will only take it back if he helps her and her friends (Gendry and Hot Pie) escape Harrenhal, which would most likely take more than one death. Jaqen initially akins this to a form of cheating at his little death for a death game and called Arya unhonorable. She gives the most amazing little shrug back as if to say: So. His resolve crumbles and he insists she must follow his instruction. “A girl will obey” Arya smartly retorts.
Later during the night the time comes when Arya was told by Jaqen to simply walk out the front gates to make her escape with Gendry and Hot Pie at midnight. They initially delay as to the casual observer there are guards stationed all around but as Arya walks toward the exit we see all the men are dead and have been propped up to fool onlookers. A man wins the Westros player of the week award for such an action.

THAT TIME TYRION AND VARYS WERE BFFL
“I will hurt you for this. The day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you’ll know the debt is paid.” —Tyrion

Tyrion is studying up on some books to help prepare for the impending siege but the better part of the scene is him getting more wrapped up in bickering with Bronn over cleaning his nails and the impracticality of wearing a gold cloak. We also learn Bronn’s version of controlling the cities crime is to just kill it. Vary’s joins them like he’s meeting them for brunch in New York. Tyrion just wants to discuss battle tactics. All Tyrion knows are the negatives: Stannis and his ships are coming. They will most likely attack at someplace called the Mud Gate and if they get inside the Lannisters are done for. He does not know how to stop any of this. What do they have he wonders? Pigshit.

While Tyrion wants to prepare the city for Stannis’s army but Cersei would rather hurt him as much as possible for sending her daughter away to be married.  Props to Lena Headly for playing the rollercoaster that is Cersei Lannister as she has both the power to draw sympathy and hatred. Tyrion learns that King Joffrey wants to fight in the impending battle and can barely hide his joy at the prospect of him getting himself killed. His mood dampens as Cersei smiles because what on earth could be making her happy. Cersei has found Tyrions weak spot: his secret whore. She mocks finding her wearing a very loud Lannister lion necklace. Cersei is taking her hostage, and threatening to kill her if Joffrey is even hurt in the upcoming battle. However to this viewers delight when Cersei unmasks Tyrions beaten whore we see not Shea but some other poor nameless whore (Wait, is that Roz?). Tyrion hilariously comforts her and pretends Cersei has won this round. I personally feel bad for this poor girl Tyrion obviously set up for such an occasion.
However this doesn’t mean he isn’t supremely pissed that his own family members won’t lay off whenever he gets some cute whore to really like him. He verbally bashes Cersei in an over the top way before being told to essentially fuck off and get out. He races to find Shea seeming to need her more and more with each day. Surrounded by the game constantly he needs some intense reassurance from her that he has her love. In the most vulnerable state we have ever seen him in he bids her to be his and promise him this. I’m unsure of Shea’s positive reply considering her “whoriness” and don’t completely buy her love as true. Tyrion however is so love starved he is suddenly and alarmingly head over heels in love with the woman and seems to forget “the most important thing about whores” speech he gave Cersei earlier: You don’t buy them, you rent them.

Next we get a reminder of the asshole that Joffrey is along with a hint of completely memory loss as Joffrey seems to thin he is fighting and will fight Stannis directly. As Joffrey walks away this leads to Tyrion and Varys conversing as “two honest and intelligent men”. Tyrion wants to know what Varys wants – Varys wants Tyrion to go first. (LOL) Tyrion then goes on to dialogue his woeful childhood and lack of expecting real power. Varys compliments how Tyrion plays his game – opposed to Ned Stark not playing at all. Tyrion admits to liking the game and wanting to keep playing it. Once Stannis breeches the gates the game is over. Varys also lets Tyrion in on a little secret he’s known for quite awhile: Dany is alive in Qarth. Tyrion seems to tire at the idea of her having dragons but Varys points out that it will be years before they would be useful to her.
“Then there will be no where to hide.” –Varys
“One game at a time my friend” -Tyrion

THAT TIME DAVOS WAS COOLER AND CRABBIER THAN NED STARK
“Most lords don’t like to break bread with crabbers – Our hands stink.” -Davos

After we get some mild cool back-story about how the Onion knight got his name (smuggling onions – who knew). It’s his way of accepting the higher born families looking down on him in a huge display of impossible humbleness and modesty. Also we get an even cooler development that is Stannis wins the Iron throne than Davos will be his Hand. Score. C’mon Stannis! Kill Joffrey! This is because no matter my love for Tyrion, he is still on Joffrey’s side at present and no one deserves an axe to the face more than Joffrey.
I also want to point out my love for Stannis being entirely boring minus his huge dislike for both of his brothers. Everything he says about them makes him sound like a whiny adolescent boy who just wants some recognition.

THAT TIME DANY WANTED TO REMIND US WHO SHE IS
“They are my children and they are the only children I will ever have” -Dany

Jorah is attempting to hide Dany from Xaro and the warlock in Qarth still. Dany wants to go to the house of the undying to get her dragons and is trying to convince Ser Jorah to do so but he has already gotten her a ship and says the entire situation is too dangerous. This is both going to get the dragons and even maybe continuing playing mother to them. Dany blathers on about being their mother and she needs her children. Dany remedies this by touching his face in a somewhat sexy light caress way while still babbling about her babies. But of course the second she touches him he turns to putty in her little hands.

-Sagebeth

NEXT WEEK – Action!! War is here!! Stannis may take King’s Landing but he will not get Cersei alive. Tyrion works the men up to fight. Shea is being too cutesy for my liking. Sansa is still stuck being poor Sansa. The Hound is busy being badass while Joffrey shits himself uttering “There’s too many”

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~ by ATOM on May 21, 2012.

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