Monday Night Raw on a Blursday: Tears of a Giant/Tears of a Clown.
This article will not be known as Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday for a few weeks because Sage’s Game of Thrones review is a better and more interesting article and because I’m barely watching much wrestling right now. Honestly Raw is especially bad and boardline unwatchable since Extreme Rules so right now I’m going to give a quick run down of what happened, maybe a video and then go about my day because I can’t feasibly waste my time on this garbage right now. Wrestling is becoming similar to watching the Red Sox right now, when it sucks fans nudge you and say “relax, it’s early, it’s gonna get good” And the reality is it’s terrible and there’s no alternative and we just have to shut up and like it. Stop making excuses! When something sucks, it sucks and I don’t care what it’s gonna be like a month from now. This is supposed to be entertainment and it’s really painful to watch. Also I missed a good portion of this Raw to watch a god awful Celtics/76’ers playoff game. Anyways, this is what I saw through the hands over my eyes.
When Raw opens with that open E chord (I think it’s been awhile) and “It’s time to play the game” is heard through my TV speakers I want to throttle the cat and shut a window on my head. I don’t even hate Triple H as much as I used to, I just don’t want to hear him speak. WWE needs to trash the who’s in charge story line, it makes no sense, COO, CEO, General Manager, just bring Vince back, everyone knows he’s in charge, everyone!
Triple H goes on about his robot arm and Brock Lesner and Heyman comes out and serves Triple H with a lawsuit because he breached Lesner’s contract and there’s people in the ring I adore as wrestler personalities and I’m switching the channel. Heyman was good per usual but couldn’t save this shitty opening.
Triple H vs Brock Lesner at whatever Pay-Per-View will be a good match because that’s the only time good wrestling happens. Right now, I hate this.
Drink it in, this is the best Raw is going to get. Here’s your wrestling for the night with guys that are good at wrestling.
Divas: Layla and Beth at Over the Limit might be a good match but predictably Beth vs Alicia was not. I didn’t put the video but up I’m sure you can catch some highlights on botchamania next week.
The Big Show vs Kane: This is where the show goes completely off the rails. The match itself of Kane vs The Big Show which i rolled my eyes at actually wasn’t that awful. The finish was awful with Kane delivering a pretty weak looking choke slam. Then came the money; Laurinitus comes out to make The Big Show get on his knees and apologize, and The Big Show cries and cries and it wasn’t terrible, but it went on for 20 fuckin minutes.
It was uncomfortably long, and then The Big Show gets fired anyhow and the WWE has the great idea of following up this really dull and depressing segment with The Funkasaurus. Enough of this please, make it stop.
Brotus Clay/R-Truth/Kofi vs Dolph/Swagger/The Miz: The Loser: You.
Jericho vs Randy Orton: My how the mighty have fallen. I was so excited for Jericho to return and he did have two really good matches with CM Punk, everything throw it in the garbage. Now he’s in this “fued” with Orton, Sheamus and Del Rio? Anyways I didn’t watch this match, I watched the end of the garbage Celtics game.
Main Event: Ace Ventura impressions;
God this promo sucked and as completely unneeded just trust me. Why can’t the main event of Raw be an important match…just once please! Anyhow, this is Cena at his worst. Sorry for being so sour on this whole thing but here we have it; John Cena vs Laurinitus at Over the Limit: Big Show interrupts and Choke slams Cena to get his job back. If that doesn’t happen, I’ll be shocked. I don’t know if I’m going to be watching Over The Limit because Game of Thrones is on sunday and I’ve completely lost interest in what’s been going on. You’ve got CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan and no attention has been paid to that match. I’m sure it’ll be worth watching but things have been so mishandled week to week that you really don’t care all that much to find out. See ya next week, maybe.