Game of Thrones: Season 2: Episode 6: The Old Gods and The New

Episode 6 “The Old Gods and the New” Reviewcap

In this episode some of our players are dealing with losing control, losing loyalty, and facing what else is to come this season in Westros. As we head into the second half of this season the tension is building as each of our game pieces interact and weave through the game.

THAT TIME WINTERFEL ACTUALLY FELL
“It grieves me that you have less honor than a back alley whore.” —Sir Rodrick (RIP)

From last week we knew Theon had plans for the depleted and alone Winterfel and we pick right up with the castle being attacking by Theon’s new sea bitch crew. Maester Luwin is rushing to the Winterfel Raven (mail) room as we hear the sounds of battle echo from below. Just before the room is rushed Luwin scribbles a message concerning the occupation to Robb. Whew.

Next Theon bursts into sleeping Bran’s room all puffed up with pride and power announcing that he’s taken the castle. Initially Bran is baffled to even be seeing Theon. Bran, truly speaking with the innocent voice of a child, asks Theon a simple question “Why?” Theon puts it simple: He can’t fight for both Robb and his father. In a move emotionally moving, Theon sits down on Bran’s bed, much like an older brother, and explains this whole bit about grow up real world situation and what Bran should do to protect the people and such. He must yield the castle to protect his people. “That’s what a good lord would do”, Theon condescendingly spouts to sleepy Bran. Bran’s then asks the perfect questions to correctly place Theon into emotionally damning territory (where he basically lives), which is “Did you hate us the whole time”.

Cut to a rainy courtyard scene in which Bran is turning power over to Theon. The sight of little Bran shivering in the rain was enough to make the last bits of audience jump on the hating Theon bandwagon. Theon goes on to yell about being a prince and so on because Theon just can barely exist in his own skin. The crowd is against him as who wouldn’t be? The Starks, seemingly the last family still honouring loyalty in the realm were their lords, not Theon the violent screaming child.

Theon’s men bring out a captured prisoner now, Sir Rodrik, Winterfel’s arms master, who Bran had prophesized his death last week so I was initially surprised he was still alive until he spit in Theon’s face. That was the moment I realized that he was making his Westros exit then. Theon wants to initially lock him up until his first mate lets him know that this man should pay the “iron price”. The crowd, and the young Starks, beg for Rodrik’s life while Theon is visibly torn as usual. When he decides to follow through with killing Sir Rodrik, Theon gets a tough parting line from him: “Now you’re truly lost”.  He also adds a bit about wishing he never taught Theon to hold a sword but after his gruesome execution he probably hoped he had taught Theon a bit better. After teasing Theon for not initially doing the execution himself, Theon of course jumps right into the role. As Bran and Rickon cry and beg for Rodriks life Theon hacks at Rodriks neck area for what feels like days until finally viciously kicking his head off his body. How humane Theon you prick.

THAT TIME JON SNOW HAD THE SLOWEST PLOTLINE AND STILL GOT LOST
“Strike hard and true Jon Snow or I’ll come back and haunt ya’” -Ygritte
Jon tries desperately to prove himself to Halfhand as they travel north of the wall. They have types of conversations that usually end with Halfhand calling Jon an idiot for both agreeing and disagreeing with him. Also during this walk Ghost is seemingly separating from the group straying further and further away. Eventually they happen upon a small Wildling camp and attack. Jon is about to kill one when he realizes it’s a woman and freezes up. Her name is Ygritte and she’s redheaded, feisty, and utterly unwilling to die. Jon also looks very unwilling to kill her. She does an amazing job of coming off both brave and scared. The other men leave Jon to kill her, which struck me as strange – right? What did they think? Jon was going to need a good cry after that?

Ygritte tells him to strike hard and true because she totally doesn’t want a horrible beheading like poor Sir Rodrik. She also seems to fear returning to life as one of those scary undead thingies. Jon winds back and seems to purposely miss her neck. She takes this as her golden ticket and boots it for a semi-epic chase scene through the gorgeous scenery. Jon finally ambushes her taking her captive again but Jon is in trouble as he’s now separated from the men and stuck with a pretty girl who is obviously feeling him. That last bit probably scares him shitless. As the sun sets he ties her up and proceeds to cuddle to gain warmth. She grinds his sexy parts through their 89 layers, which only annoys poor Jon. I personally feel for Ygritte – She’s stuck with this dude who wont kill her or have sex with her and like the audience wishes he’d at least do one of those actions.


She asks if he thinks they are looking for him and he says yes. Then she asks if he thinks he will be found and he says yes. She goes on to call brave, stupid but brave. Initially this whole thing felt a bit convoluted and slow, as most of Jon’s adventures beyond the wall, but upon reflection Jon perhaps needed to see this as a character. In an earlier season two episode Jon spurred Sam’s request to take Gilly with them when they leave. One of his reasons is that girls can’t fight. Meet Ygritte, Jon. She wants to bury an axe in your face and fuck you – the order is unknowable.

THAT TIME ARYA CAME THIS CLOSE TO HER LUCK RUNNING OUT
“What killed him?” —Tywin
“Loyalty.” —Arya

Tywin is pissed at one his men who sent a letter to the wrong house therefore possibly clueing Robb in on their troop movements. He sent it to wrong house because of his lack of reading skill. Tywin asks Arya to fetch a book and learns her reading skill far surpasses the man. Tywin jokingly tells her she should devise his next battle plan. This tickles Arya until she hears someone is visiting Tywin: Littlefinger. Arya panics as he has seen her in Kings Landing and would know her identity. While we watch the tension rack up, Arya tries to conceal her identity while serving both men. I am unsure if Littlefinger knows for sure she is who she is or simply recognized her for a moment. He does however talk about the Stark sisters (plural) pretty loudly perhaps showing he knows. Throughout the scene we also learn Margaery is trying to forge another alliance, as well as what that family is up to.

Later on Arya sees a piece of parchment left on Tywin’s table with battle info about Robb. While her and Tywin share a nice bit of dialogue Arya goads Tywin into answering a question about his father leading him to monologue thoughtfully staring into his fire while Arya snags the paper that would certainly help Robb. She leaves speedily running into the illiterate man from earlier. As she panics he grabs the paper from her and prepares to tell Tywin what exactly he’s just found. Arya books it looking for her new favorite manly assassin Jaqen. She uses her second wish of death upon someone on the illiterate fool who is about to ruin her incognito actions. Jaqen looks annoyed as Arya begs him to not wait and that it must happen now before the man brings his message to Tywin blowing up her spot. The request is unreasonable and has an element of batshit crazy but we see a man can be as badass as his speech indicates as he kills the man with some sort of blow dart as he enters Tywin’s quarters. BADASS.

THAT TIME JOFFREY MET HIS PEOPLE AND GOT A COW PIE TO THE FACE
“We’ve had vicious kings and we’ve had idiot kings. But I don’t know if we’ve ever been cursed a vicious idiot king. ” —Tyrion

Myrecella is on her royal boat bawling her little eyes out on her way to be married in Dorne as per Tyrions plan. Cersei decidedly still pissed, threatens Tyrion saying when she finds out he loves anyone she will take them away. Tyrion eyes for once don’t stay cool and we know he fears for Shea. Also on the shore Joffrey is pissed his little brother is crying because “princes don’t cry”. Sansa, probably not meaning to fight, ends up causing one sharing that little boys cry including her little brother. King Joffrey is amazing in his treatment of the situation, berating her for relating her brother to one of a prince. The actor Jack Gleeson is truly pitch perfect playing the horrible Joffrey. It’s to convey the amount of conviction he displays in scenes that truly make me laugh out loud.
As they all make their way from the shore back to the castle they are surrounded by some of the angry citizens of Kings Landing. Between the war, lack of food, and Joffrey tyrannical awfulness the crowds are utterly pissed at their lord. Tyrion while observing some intense flaring nostrils and angry shouts can feel the tension racking up. He urges them to get the young prince (not lost king anymore?) back to the castle on the double. This is about when things fall right the fuck apart. Someone throws a pile of shit at Joffrey hitting him in the side of the face. He of course does the immediate action of ordering EVERYONE to die. This kid is going to get his karma shoved up his ass with a hot poker if he keeps this shit up.
The crowd revolts harder, as Tyrion watches them pull a nobleman into the crowd and proceed to literally right him a part, lifting his lone arm into the air. Wow these crowds are more bloodthirsty than the zombies in Walking Dead. As Joffrey, Cersei, and Tyrion make it into the castle Tyrion flips his little lid over the entire action doing something we all want to do: slap Joffrey for being a moron. This doesn’t knock any sense into him as he goes on to refuse to send his men to help Sansa who is still trapped outside with the unruly crowd.
Poor Sansa is still trapped outside is chased down an alley by some men who eventually catch her and start stripping her down for some horrible rapiness. This is second time this season she has been stripped down by savage men this season – I hope she gets out of this with her mind intact. Thankfully she does have a savoir is someone other than Tyrion. The Hound appears and kills all of the men attacking her then he calmly tells her its okay and calls her little bird in the calmest sweetest voice as thought he didn’t just gut a bunch of men. He then carries her to safety – Tyrion sees this and thanks the Hound for his service. The Hound says he didn’t do it for him. I don’t know about you Tyrion but I would worry when one of the most loyal hardcore men in Westros is slowly losing faith in your stupid family.

THAT TIME ROBB HAD A ROMCOM
“Because the Greyjoys are treasonous whores.” -Bolton
Robb runs into the medic from an earlier episode, and shares some knowledge that he suspects her to be of noble birth. She still will not tell him her name, but he goes on to starting asking her out for smoothies and shit when Catelyn appears and appropriately cockblocks Robb. She reminds him that he has a wife lined up already from a family Catelyn bargained with in season one using Robb’s love life as leverage.
We also receive the news of Winterfel. Robb wants to go back immediately but can’t due to his new Kingly status. A Lord Bolten offers sending his son with men to retake the keep. Robb swears Theon will die for this. We can only hope Robb.

THAT TIME OSHA GOT GAME and TONKS GOT NAKED
“We know things, the free people. Other things. Savage things.”-Osha
Osha shows up in Theon’s room offering herself for some “savage” sex for her freedom. Also seeing this girl completely naked has slightly skewed my view of Tonks in Harry Potter. Anyway, after her savage wildling sex with Theon, Osha leaves him sleeping all tuckered out from their session. As she gets outside one of Theon’s men stops her but she essentially keeps the sex kitten act up by saying Theon sent her as a gift for all the men, and begins to prepare to go down on the guy but instead Osha gets the Player of Westros award this week killing the man in cold blood, then using all this power plays to sneak herself, Bran, Rickon, Hordor, and their direwolfs out of the castle. Good on Osha for besting Theon and saving the Starks boys from this fate. I’m Bran’s hair will look gorgeous again now and all will be right in the world.

THAT TIME DANY TRIED HER FAVORITE THEON IMPRESSION
“She has a talent for drama this one.” –The Spice King
Dany is going to the Spice King for help in her journey – why do you ask? I don’t know. Doesn’t she recall him wanting her dead? This does however lead to an interesting scene in which Dany goes for the gold, broadcasting who she is exactly how special she is – which reminds of Theon whining about being prince, but this is different as Dany has yet to really say these things out loud. She is not like other women. She is special. She is the mother of dragons.
When returning back to her villa she surprised to find nearly all of her people dead there. She runs through the door and up the stairs to her room basically hop scotching over bodies into her chamber. Her dragons are gone, with empty baskets showing so. As Dany screeches “WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?!?” we see a figure carrying wailing/crying baby dragons up to some mysterious tower. Aww saddest sound ever. Poor babies.

Next Week Theon is going after Osha and the boys and calling it all a game. Jamie is not suited for imprisonment. War is approaching Kings Landing. Sansa and the Hound have a chat. Dany wants her god damned dragons.

-Sagebeth

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~ by ATOM on May 8, 2012.

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