Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 4/16/2012: What’s Running Down Your Leg….It’s PISS! edition.

Tonight’s Raw kicks off with a match….wait what!? A Title match!? WHA!….a match for the WWE Title is opening Raw!? I’m confused, scared,a little hungry, a little gassy and I’m not sure what’s going on, but I like it.  Raw has been opening the last few weeks feeling pretty important and this falls right inline.  Mark Henry is back in beast mode and has been battling CM Punk with no clean win going either way so that has brought us to this match, a no DQ, no countout match.

I enjoyed the match and what it does for everyone involved.  It makes CM Punk a fighting champion, it puts Mark Henry in the title picture where he should always be, and the fans gets a fun match with a great finish.  Punk uses a steel chair underneath his elbow and drops it from the top rope on Mark’s head.  10 years ago I would have yawned at this, but now it’s pretty fresh and edgy, weird right.

It should also be noted that the live crowd in England was hot for this match and most of Raw picking up where Miami left off, last week was kind of a fail. (Sorry DC right now but you suck, maybe after the Bruins finish off The Caps we can be friends again)

After the match Jericho showed up on the Tron like Cobra Commander and sqeeze his hands together and laugh manically.  He always claims Punk is a giant booze bag as he has exclusive footage of CM Punk entering an English pub.  Punk claims it was for meeting with friends for fish and chips and that’s good enough for the crowd as they start a “Fish and Chips” chant, a first I believe. Unless some Diva got caught doing something nefarious back in the attitude days that everyone loves that I mostly missed out on.

Santino vs David O’Tunga:  This is the death rattle of Team Johnny vs Team Teddy as these two square off in a pretty forgettable US Title match.  O’Tunga is a good heel but a so-so wrestler and I’m nervous he’s never going to get over the hump of just being a muscular dude with no wrestling sense that can’t bump.  Santino wins.

Kane vs Zack Ryder:  This matches never gets off the ground as Kane just pummels Ryder before the bell.  Kane then mocks Randy Orton and his dad Cowboy Bob whom he beat up on last week’s terrible blast from the past Smackdown.  This segment was really pointless.

Brock Lesner:  Brock gives a candid interview with a non-descriptive interviewer and explains how great he is at everything he does, and it’s actually a pretty effective segment.  Brock’s gimmick is pretty much 80’s Bully, and it fits him perfect and probably not very far from the real Brock.  Every report on the real Lesner is he’s a total dickbag (Please don’t tell him I said that) so this persona is great.  He even had a great line, well i dunno if it was great or just awful and funny but he says “what is important is what’s running down Cena’s leg”  now we all assume it’s piss, but Brock takes it one step further and informs us, so there’s no misunderstanding, it is, in fact…piss.  Next week is the contract signing for Brock and Cena’s match and I love how this is shaping up to be the anti-Rock and Cena.  Brock is what The Rock could have been, the guy returning to the WWE just to beat up Cena because he wants to and will pander to no one.  I like it, yes yes yes.

Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan:  Just when you think the “yes” train is losing momentum, thank you England.  Bryan is also finally embracing it even more so, in a back stage segment he renames his finisher the”yes” lock…thank you.

The match between him and Kofi was fantastic, although this match was competing with the final 3 minutes of regulation in the Bruins game, but when Chara scored a goal to put the Bruins ahead I was able to stand up and do the Daniel Bryan “YES” and mean it on so many levels.  This match was really good though (I Re-watched it) and Bryan gets the win via the “Yes” lock.  The England crowd was very into Daniel Bryan and it really is week to week and crowd to crowd with the reactions to Bryan (FU DC!) but me thinks he is finally catching on.  His goofy heel antics and in-ring performance should make him a star…not will…should.

Brotus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler:  This match was fine, all be it, no finish but I’m glad Brotus Clay is doing something meaningful and not racist and Dolph didn’t get jobbed out pathetically two weeks in a row.

The Big Show and Great Kahli vs Epico and Primo:  This match was as one sided as you imagined it would be after you did a spit take when you heard it announced. Big hand slaps and choke slams a plenty.  Show and Kahli in the tag team titles match.

John Cena vs Lord Tensei:  Laurintus is determined to make this the end of the John Cena era which is awkward because it seems like that’s what most people want but never the less he pits him in a no DQ match with a mystery opponent and it’s non other than Lord Tensei.

This was a good match and Tensei winning via Green magical mist was a nice touch and it was new and I liked it.  Good stuff.  I’m not an anti-Cena guy, nor a pro Cena just pro wrestling (see what I did there) and having Cena slide on a losing streak is a good story.  This also gives Tensei some main event cred and makes him someone to content with…see what they did there!?

This was a good Raw, it was a solid show bell to bell;  Story lines progressed and all though it wasn’t pitch perfect, I left with very little complaints.  Next week is a three hour Raw (Face palm) for some horrible reason so I’ll do my best to wrap it up nicely while not going insane.  see ya next week.

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~ by ATOM on April 17, 2012.

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