Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 4/9/2012: Ground and Pound Edition.

Raw kicks off with Mr. Excitement himself John Laurinitus making his way out to the ring with his in house legal council and 3 move bodybuilder David Mugs O’Tunga.  First more attention needs to be paid to Johnny’s new entrance theme.  It’s pretty damn epic.

Seriously listen to that! I need that on my gym playlist yesterday, sandwich’ed somewhere between Jacko and McCarty’s “Say Say Say” and Billy Gunn’s “I’m an Assman”

So Johnny calls out his new signing to the ring, some guy named Brock Lesner.  The pop is good but nothing compared to last week when he showed up seemingly out of nowhere and grown men lost their shit.  Brock seems to have alined himself with Johnny, saying he had the intelligence to sign him.  Before Lesner can continue on and make you realize he still sucks on the mic Cena interrupts and hits the ring.  He faces off with Lesner and then open hand bitch slaps him to which Brock returns that with a take down ground and pound type wrestling what a maneuver! This turns into what felt like a pretty realistic looking brawl as the entire locker room emptied out to pull these guys apart.  During the melee Brock landed a wicked right hand on Cena’s face busting his lip open and covering his face in blood.

Not sure if this was an accident because Brock got wrapped up in the moment or a work and Brock was supposed to tag Cena but it sold the entire segment.  This did have a Austin/Tyson big fight feel to it.  I liked this segment a lot and it would be the last one of the night…God help us.

Santino/Brotus Clay vs Swagger/Ziggler: Horseshit comedy and bullshit dancing trumps skill in a match that is everything that is wrong with the WWE.  Brotus getting the easy clean pin on Ziggler was the worst of it all. I’m over the whole Funkasaurus thing and if he’s not gonna have quality matches then the hell with the whole thing.  On top of that I have to put up with Jerry Lawler/Micheal Cole dinosaur jokes that are so stupid Cole has to can some legit laughs.

R-Truth vs Cody Rhodes:  This was a rehash of last weeks match with Truth playing the part of Kofi Kingston.  I’m through with Show and Rhodes, give Cody back his belt please and lets move on.

Lord Tensai vs Yoshi Tatsu:  The second week of The Lord Tensei era with another squash match against Superstars finest.  I don’t think Tensei is over with the crowd, with them seeming bored and chanting Albert.  Again along with Ryback who was Skip in the Nexus, why won’t the announcers just acknowledge who they are?  He was Prince Albert/A-Train, he went to Japan and became a wrecking machine, done, no games.  Keep the new name if you want and just throw the rest away and make him a boss. At least this week the video direction didn’t blow the spit-hand-claw grab segment.  Poor Yoshi.

CM Punk vs Mark Henry:  This week the match didn’t happen as a pist off Punk gets DQ’ed for hitting Henry with a tv monitor.  They continue to push the CM Drunk story line which I don’t mind I’m just not a huge fan of the CM Punk making over acted pissy faces for 20 minutes.  So after the match Punk got Code broken and strongest slammed and then took a Chris Jericho beer bath.  The segment was long and it’s starting to lose steam again.  Just fight! have wrestling! Next week we’re getting a no DQ match between Punk and Henry and I like that, I like that Mark Henry is somewhat involved in this fued, kinda.  I like when wrestling happens.

Zack Ryder vs Alberto Del Rio:  If the Zack Ryder era is slowly dying out and Del Rio’s reemergence will pick up steam because of it, bring it the fuck on please.  The Ryder Revolution was crushed underneath a car trying to change a tire 3 months ago, sorry everyone.  Del Rio wins with an arm-breaker awesome finisher thing and then I wondered what show is he on Raw or Smackdown, then I stopped caring very quickly.

The Three Stooges attempt comedy in the ring to promote their horrible film for stupid jerks. They get boo’ed mercilessly during a Hulk Hogan impression and then Curly gets beat up by Kane.  That really is what happened and it sucked.  On a lighter note, who is that movie for?  Stooges fans won’t see it cause they’re old and hate things that are new and young people won’t see it because it looks like a shit sandwich.

Brock speaks back stage and isn’t horrible, he’s coming off like a heel which is a good idea, don’t push him as a face, make him the unstoppable heel that you refuse to do with Mark Henry now.  Also earlier in the show we find out Cena and Lesner will fight at Extreme Rules.  Seems quick but I’m for it, it gives that Pay-per-view a ton of credibility that unfortunately the Punk/Jericho rematch wasn’t going to give it.  I guess it is too soon for Cena and Lesner, but WWE wants to make bucks now and so be it, that’s the way it is.

Cena vs O’Tunga: This match was ok, didn’t feel like a main event and it just set up Cena winning and Lesner coming out and beating his ass like he did last week.  Show closes like last week, F5 to Cena.  Will Cena get the upper hand next week? Will Daniel Bryan show up on Raw so the WWE doesn’t completely flounder the popularity of “YES” Will I even watch next week now that baseball has started, only time will tell my friends.  See ya next week…maybe….


~ by ATOM on April 10, 2012.

One Response to “Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 4/9/2012: Ground and Pound Edition.”

  1. john cena got his ass kicked by brock lesner lesner all the way

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