Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 3/19/2012: Nose to Nose Edition
This was a tough episode of Raw to get through, lucky there was a Bruins Game and Air Force One on Stars to aid me during the awkward nose to nose moments.
Raw begins thankfully with CM Punk making mad faces because last week Jericho revealed to the world that CM Punk’s dad was an alcoholic. This is something he generally could have found on wikipedia but let’s not split hairs just yet. So Punk is steamed and he does his best poop faces and claims his father has recovered and he is proud of his father. The whole promo was very effective all be it extreme baby face Punk rather than anti-hero reality guy Punk, but I’m not complaining.
Jericho then appears on the Titan-Tron (are we still calling it that?) and he tells Punk he’s genuinely sorry for mentioning his Dad and won’t talk about him anymore….but his Sister on the other hand muwahahaha. This is the Jericho that rules, smarmy, smiley dick hole Chris Jericho. So Jericho claims Punk’s sister is a herion whore (not in those harsh terms but he was inferring) and this sends Punk into a rage. I’m sure the whole sister being a drug addict is untrue but again making this feud personal makes it more fun and gives it stakes other than “Best in The World” CM Punk flies into a curse word laced tirade leaving us with dead air and the kids in the arena bad words to repeat at school. Punk storms off and we don’t see him again for the rest of the night. Least these guys will be downy fresh for Wrestlemania.
Big Show vs Kane: They must be saving the Cody Rhodes/Kane vs Show/Orton tag match for Smackdown, the home of inpromptu tag matches. So instead we get this, which didn’t suck but wasn’t anything worth screaming about. Before the match we get The Cody Rhodes Presents Big Show sucks at Wrestlemania video package. Ya know the video production people don’t have to play these if their sole purpose is to make The Big Show look like a piece of shit. Are we to assume Cody Rhodes cut these up on Adobe Premier and threaten to beat up the production people unless they play it? Did the video people go to Triple H and he’s just like “My hands are tied, what can I do?” so they just play it…in full, every night? Anyhow, Show losses to Kane and then Cody handcuffs him and beats his face in wearing boxing gloves. Fun Stuff. Much like a reverse Taker, I really don’t think Show is going to win at Mania, especially because Cody is a boss.
Santino vs David OTunga: I actually like the build up this fued is getting and the people involved. Santino was fun but interference made this match kinda blah! O’Tunga wins, Teddy slaps Johnny and runs away as quickly as his over sized suit will allow.
The Rock stands in front of the Rocky statue in Philly and makes a bunch of cheese steak references as they cut the camera to inside the arena to various idiots belly laughing at things that I KNEW he was going to say. If you told me The Rock is going to cut a promo in downtown Philly, I could write about 80% of it. I can see yeah it’s funny here and there but to belly laugh like it’s fuckin Eddie Murphy Raw is over doing it. Maybe I just hate The Rock?
Zack Ryder vs Daniel Bryan: This is Ryder’s big return to the ring after breaking his neck, and unfortunetly I realized I’m kinda over Ryder. They killed his momentum, the crowd popped but this just could have been something better with Ryder, all be it, handled correctly. Well the match was cool and I have to give Ryder credit cause that boot to the face in the corner looks legit when he hits that. Bryan like a boss turns the Long Island Jump Dick to the face into a Labelle Lock for the win. YES YES YES!
Mark Henry vs John Cena: This match was surprisingly good, and booked correctly with Henry playing the unstoppable beast he’s supposed to be. A long match with Cena mostly eating shit, but he turns it around and Attitudinally Adjusts Mark Henry shit in impressive fasion.
Post match The Rock shows up and Rock Bottoms Mark Henry in front of Cena, proving he still remembers his finisher. Take that Cena.
The Miz vs Sheamus: The Miz still trying to prove himself to Team Johnny. I enjoy that he compared himself to King Kong Bundy as a guy in the main event at Mania and then the next year in the under card with Midgets….least he had a match the next year. So his opponent is make shift “No, not him!” guy in Sheamus who beats The Miz with the mouth kick. I still predict The Miz joins team Teddy.
Ziggler/Swagger vs Truth and Kofi: This was a good match as expected from all 4 guys in the ring, but there was nothing at stake or terribly important happening and I accidentally miss some of it due to Air Force One.
End of an Era: Three old guys touching noses. Seriously HBK, Triple H and The Undertaker said nothing new and just awkwardly stared at each other…it was the opposite of exciting. They just squinted their eyes at one another and I think at one point Triple H’s nose gave The Undertaker a punch to the face.
This Raw was extremely MEH! I understand they’re at a stand still with most story lines because were just counting down til Mania so I get it, but that was an extremely weak way to close the show. Ah well, can’t win em all and we’re less than 2 weeks to Wrestlemania which it shaping up to be a solid card so all is not lost. See ya next week.