WWE Elimination Chamber: Review.

So we start the night with the WWE Title Chamber match…wait what!? Please tell me Cena vs Kane is not the main event. Well Punk vs Kofi start out the Match and they set the tone for what is an excellent match. R-Truth is next and then Ziggler and bodies are flying all over the place.  Punk gets the first pin on R-Truth and he’s gone.  Thank god Cole points out that the pods are bullet proof, good to know no one will be shot at tonight??? Anyhow Dolph Ziggler is a boss! He takes some amazing bumps in this match.  Miz is next and he helps build the case that he needs to go back to FCW for a refresher. Jericho says please step aside Miz and let the adults wrestle as he enters the ring and finally squares off with Punk.  After they tussle things break down and Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Ziggler, Dolph is gone. Jericho uses the pod to slam the door on Punk and  hey Kofi is still alive, sorta.  Jericho finishes him off with an Awesome looking Lion-tamer; Thanks for playing Kofi.  Jericho continues to beat the bag outta Kofi and throws him out of the Chamber personally.  With the door open Punk comes to life and kicks Jericho in the head and Jericho falls out of the chamber and hits his head on a camera or something outside of the ring.  The announcers use their serious voice and the camera is on him for far too long to be legit.  The match continues as Jericho is no longer able to continue which leaves  Punk and The Miz who Punk dispatches fairly quickly and Punk retains the title.  Jericho is still lying outside of the ring as Punk smirks on his way up the ramp.   The Jericho injury angle kinda derailed all the momentum in the match but it works to preserve the angle for Mania that CM Punk has never beat Jericho.   All and all this was an awesome match.

Beth vs Tamina: The action in the ring was really good for a Divas match, although it slowed down in the middle but overall a decent Divas match.  The commentary turned into white noise with  “Something Something Jimmy Snuka.”  There were a few good spots too, Beth kicks out of the Snuka Splash (???) “Gitin’ caughtup in the lights! Beth finally hits a glam slam and the win. No Karma after the match, probably waiting for Raw.  Good match thou.

John Laurinitus comes out with David Otunga to make his announcement but is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio’s return to TV.   I’ve miss ADR and so have you, even if you haven’t realized it yet.  Del Rio thinks Johnny Ace should be both the general manager of Raw and Smackdown; I’m on board with that idea.  Then Mark Henry comes out and says Teddy Long is a bully (haha) and should be gone and endorses Johnny . I love it, please let this happen.  Then Christian comes out and I’m freaking out at how amazing these guys would be in a stable together.  Christian backs Johnny and then everyone posses for a picture that will now be hung above my fire place.  Luckily Teddy Long doesn’t even come out to defend himself or put all these guys in a six man tag match and everyone leaves a happy camper.  Please let this be a thing!

Smackdown Chamber Match:  Wade Barrett and The Big Show kick off the match and it’s vintage Big Show getting the boring chant.  Cody spices things up with his tighty whities as the third guy in and is entertaining all the way through the match.  Santino enters and actually makes it pretty far considering Kali is number 5 and gets speared and eliminated by The Big Show.  The match really picks up when The Big Show breaks into Bryan’s pod from the top, he climbs in and just dismantles Daniel Bryan.  When the door finally opens Bryan escapes and then Show puts Bryan right back into the pod right through the door. This was a cool spot.  Cody eliminates The Big Show with two disaster kicks and a DDT and an elbow drop from Barrett.  Then Santino rolls up Cody and he’s gone.  Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett carry the match from here and I was impressed by Barrett in this match, he showed a lot of talent.  Barrett is subsequently dispatched by Santino via roll up.  The final showdown between Bryan and Santino was surprisingly good and the crowd was hot for Santino.  Couple of near falls and then Bryan gets the Labelle Lock and the win.   After Bryan celebrates his victory Sheamus comes out and says “Oil Fight em!” See ya at Mania Fella!

I will not be talking about the Natalya farting segment because girls don’t fart.

The writers scramble to fill time, so why not remind everyone Swagger has the US title.  So we’re treated to a match between Jack Swagger and Justin Gabriel and I know what you’re thinking…Thank god this is happening! and uh, well it’s a thing we had to watch.

Cena vs Kane: Whambulance Match! The match kicks off with Booker saying it might be Kane vs The Rock at Mania if he wins….Since fucking when?? I wanted Cole to pounce on that but it didn’t happen.  This match is alright with some vintage Kane and vintage Cena and vintage Ambulance, return of the Kane face hugger move.  Kane uses old man Ryder’s wheel chair to get Cena back up the ramp and then they take the fight to the people.  (Thanks Book) Eventually Cena Adjusts Kane’s Attitude from the top of the Ambulance on to a nicely padded area and places him in the ambulance, Cena wins.

Pretty flat finish to a decent but not great pay-per-view.  No Ryder, no Eve, no point to this, No Hate was embraced and now bring on 5 weeks of twitter wars.  Cena stands in the ring and points to the Wrestlemania sign and world collectively “mehs” Wasn’t expecting much from this PPV and my expectations were met.   Goodnight everyone!

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~ by ATOM on February 19, 2012.

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