Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 6 Pack Edition.

Raw kicks off with the return of Triple H since the last time we saw Triple H which was last week.  He tells the audience he had every intention of firing John Laurinitus because he did such a bad job of setting up matches and not getting the talent to strike because of his presents but the board (Vince I guess) will review his work and decide weather or not he will be let go as Raw interim General match maker talent evaluating sexting guy.  So after that quick wrap up, Triple H decided to address the pink corpse in the room which is The Undertaker’s appearance on Raw last week and Triple H not accepting his challenge.  H delights us to two promo pieces, one where he says he wants to remember The Undertaker take this way;  Showing him dominating opponents through out the years at Wrestlemania.  Not like this; A promo of The Undertaker after last years Wrestlemania having to be carried out of the ring all wobbly, being carted out like an asshole who won a brutal war.  H doesn’t want The Undertaker to go out like a chump, even though Triple H does not address that Taker still beat him.  I get what they’re going for, the whole I don’t wanna hurt you angle.  Taker interrupts with a jumbo-tron promo of his own seeking vengeance for winning at last years Wrestlemania.  Just get Shawn Micheals involves and get it over with already. I’m not trying hard to be pessimistic; it’s just that The Undertaker seeking vengence for a win is a little bit of a stretch here.  Truth be told, i did enjoy last years H/Taker match but I have a strong doubt that this will top it.  I’m in the camp of having it be better to get a younger talent over in a Taker match.  The dude is old, if he takes on a top up and comer it writes itself, something they have plenty of trouble with.  Or have a Kane and Taker match, Hair Hat vs Hair Mask.

Big Show vs Daniel Bryan:  I’ve been a big supporter of the new and improved Daniel Bryan heel character and I’m looking forward to his match with Orton on Smackdown this Friday.  With tonight’s match we don’t get much closure to the Show/Bryan feud but I have a feeling it won’t progress much further.  Bryan walks AJ’s hot ass down to the ring to get in the way of the action so Bryan can get counted out by protecting her from The Big Show’s freakish outside the ring wind sprints.

David O’Tunga vs Sheamus:  O’Tunga comes out to sip on his mug and proffes his love for all things Johnny Ace when he is suddenly treated to an impromptu match against Sheamus.  No recap needed….although this did happen.

Jericho speaks: Jericho makes his way to the ring where he finally admits he trolled the entire WWE universe in which he probably confused in the in house crowd at what he was talking about.  He says he’s upset that everyone has been copying him from The Miz to CM Punk and he’s ending the world because he’s doesn’t like copy cats I think.  So Punk interupts and makes his way to the ring with mic in hand…But….He doesn’t say anything and just drops the mic. Boom, you’ve been trolled Chris Jericho.  It was a good nod to what Jericho has been doing and I’m fine with them not verbally sparing we’ve got plenty of time for that on the road to wreeeeeestlemania!

The Great Kali and Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes. This match was surprisingly fun, as Kali and Randy Orton (known on Smackdown as Randa Orton) just kinda pummeled Rhodes and Barrett and exchanging angry slap tags to one another in the process.  The finish was cool as Cody tried to hit Kali with the beautiful disaster kick only to get his skull chopped in half by Kali for the pin.  After the match Orton and Kali jaw at each other as well as they could and then Orton had to place Kali’s hands around his throat.  Orton breaks out and hits an RKO on Kali because he’s the Viper and he goes to that place and all sorta of stuff.

The Divas hit a new low lately.  I’m used to them being disorganized and confused in the ring, but now they’re farting, and laying out for finishing moves for an uncomfortable amount of time.  After Taminia hits a splash and gets the win on a prone Bella who lay in the ring for what seemed like a week, Beth just smiles uncomfortably as other Divas look at her confused, and then I looked confused.  Then I farted, because I’m a Natalya fan.  Also it’s not OK for girls to fart, ever…but we’ll have that for a different blog.

Triple H is visited backstage by Johnny Ace;  H makes fun of John and tells him he sucks and John just kinda laughs it off and says “you’re such a kidder” and that was my favorite part of Raw this week…honestly it was.   Laurinitus announces there will be an ambulence match at Elimination Chamber with Cena and Kane and Triple makes a stupid joke.  Then he tells Triple H that Shawn Micheals will be at Raw next week.  I hope he remembers to wear his hair beanie.

6-Pack Challenge: Punk/Ziggler/Kofi?/Miz/Jericho/Truth; Winner gets the final entrance spot in the Elimination Chamber.  This match was ok but got muddled up with some botches and missteps along the way.  R-Truth gets removed from the match due to an injury where I think Miz was supposed to catch him as he dove outside of the ring. The rest of match is a series of blunders and confusion which was disappointing.  The finish was good however as Punk counters a Ziggler fameasser (i guess) into a GTS hitting it clean but Jericho pulls him out of the ring, over the announcers table and captures the win.  Jericho sits in the ring with his legs crossed like Punk holding the title when we smash cut to back stage.

Kane has cornered Eve in a towel while she weeps annoyingly.  Kane says he’s scared of what he’s capable of when we awkwardly fade off the air. Is she dead? One can only dream.

This Raw wasn’t much to write home (or on this blog) about; We did progress toward the Chamber PPV which is good, but didn’t accomplish much along with way. Since this is tuesday I can report with total jubilation that John Laurinitus has NOT been fired.

Um….Johnny Ace is a Dashboard Confessional fan. WOW…I did not see that one coming.  Wait til CM Punk finds out and makes an obscure reference to Chris Carrabba’s lady parts.  I think he actually does have a vagina though so things might be gettin weird on Raw next week.  Until then I’m Atom and I watch Monday Night Raw, so you don’t have to.


~ by ATOM on February 7, 2012.

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