Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: 1/30/2012 Code of Honor Edition.
Raw kicks off with Johnny Ace smiling, shaking hands, and kissing babies on his way to the ring in a way to pander to everyone that he’s been doing a good job and shouldn’t be fired. He announces the participants in the Elimination Chamber being The Miz, R-Truth, CM Punk, Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston. So he tries to carry on and be more pleasant and cordial but doesn’t get very far with it because CM Punk comes to the ring doing the “nah nah nah nah hey hey hey, goodbye” and this is the CM Punk that I really dislike. He’s smarter than cliches and tropes and gay jokes but yet his new friendly “wink wink you guys are a buncha” girls CM Punk rears his ugly head more and more lately. Punk goes on about how horrible a job John Laurinitus has done as interim Raw General Manager and I actually disagree. He’s put guys in matches, some of those matches are compromising but nothing truly horrible to any of the wrestlers. So as Punk unjustly yells at Laurinitus Daniel Bryan interrupts and makes his way to the ring. This is an interesting face off for a lot of different reasons. Here we have two indy darlings who are friends and are two of the best wrestlers in the world who have recently molded themselves into new characters. Daniel Bryan is starting to become an excellent bad guy and CM Punk is starting to make a stale baby face, but character aside they can both get it done in the ring and after a quick exchange they get a match for tonight. Actually, before it wraps up Sheamus comes to down to a huge ovation and reminds them both that he has a title shot and he’s going to face one of them…thanks for that.
Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler: As the match gets started we’re treated to Wade Barrett accompanied by Josh Mathews inside an empty skybox atop of the arena like he’s fuckin Cam Neely watching the Bruins from the 11th floor. So needless to say he watched while Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler tore the ring apart with a Kansas City crowd on fire. Seriously every time I want to hate Orton for being the silent good guy badass he just comes out and has an awesomely crisp match. I predicted Ziggler would win the rumble and go on to face Orton at Mania. I was wrong but after I watched them face off tonight I realized how fucking epic a Mania match would be for these two guys.
Brotus Clay vs Tyler Reks: Another squash, nothing much more to say except they added a disco ball to his entrance. I wonder when they start repeating the cast of Superstars for this guy to kinda cross body splash.
Backstage Johnny Ace asks William Regal how his sons are, in which Regal replies that they’re daughters, they are conjoined twins and he keeps them in the attic. Thank you William Regal, please be on raw every week.
Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk: When this match ended and I reached climax, I did intend on cleaning myself up, shutting the TV off and going to bed but I decided against that in order to finish the review. First; starting off with the code of honor handshake makes me so fucking happy. Second, this match played out exactly like I pictured it in my head, with crazy submissions and many many kicks to the chest and head. I know this is supposed to be like the internet wrestling fans dream match but that’s not what it is. It’s two of the WWE’s best going one on one in the money match (The 10 o’clock time filler match) and it did not disappoint, and anyone with any sort of gripe like it had no finish or should have been a pay-per-view match just accept the fact that you will never be a happy person.
So Jericho breaks up the match by giving CM Punk a codebreaker thus kicking off two months of Punk insinuating that Jericho likes men.
Kofi Kingston vs The Miz: Here we are at Kofi Kingston’s 17th push as tonight he picks up a win against The Miz and is actually in the Elimination Chamber, cool for him I guess. The best parts of this match were R-Truth doing commentary and making me wish he and The Miz were still pals and didn’t have their souls Shang Tsung’ed by Cena and The Rock at Survivor Series.
Beth vs Eve: Beth beats up a distraught Eve and gets a quick win. After the match Kane comes out and traps Eve in the ring as she is scared stiff and can’t seem to figure out that between each of the three ropes surrounding the ring is about two feet of space she can step through or even over and leave. No matter, Cena shows up and beats up Kane with the 8,000 pound hollow ring steps.
So now for the main event; The guy who did a shitty job running Raw and caused the superstars to actually walk out on the show, gets to call out the guy who did an OK job at running Raw and fire him. This story makes little sense from any angle I try and look at it from, but non the less we get Triple H not being funny and John Laurinitus looking confused and actually making me laugh, applying chapstick insinuating he’s going to kiss Triple H’s ass.
Triple H finally gets to the point and begins to fire Johnny Ace when suddenly…the gong! The arena goes black and it’s The Undertaker. Love seeing Taker, and to put things into perspective I was watching the 1992 Royal Rumble over the weekend. (I was sick all weekend, don’t judge me) and at one time in the ring was Hogan, Macho Man, Ric Flair, Jake The Snake, The British Bulldog, Roddy Piper and The Undertaker. Now those guys are are either retired, embarrassing themselves on TNA weekly or have passed on from this earth. Taker is still kickin and that to me is pretty wild. Taker and HHH face off much like they did a year ago and then finally Taker gazes up at the Wrestlemania sign much to the chagrin to the people in the crowd.
Then before someone can point to the Wrestlemania hung above the arena and briskly cut to the half way point of a ground breaking episode of White Collar Triple H pats Taker on the arm and walks away giving everyone the impression that this is going to drag out for a while.
A good solid way to end Raw although I’m in the camp that I don’t want to see Taker vs H 3: The Quickening. I’m sure it’ll be a good match but it won’t be great and I guess the whole idea of another Triple H/Taker match makes me nervous because I don’t want HHH to end the streak but maybe he does. Good show all around, especially wrestling wise. Interested to see what happens with Punk and Jericho next week. For now, I’m me and you are you. Peace.