Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: “You’re Doing it Wrong!” Edition.

This weeks Raw review will be a short one for two reasons.  One; time restriction on my part, and the other is that last nights Raw pretty much sucked the proverbial bag of dicks.  Watching Zack Ryder change a tire in a panicked state was a metaphor for the WWE in a whole right now.  Also watching this episode was as exciting as watching someone change a tire which included the “You’re doing it wrong” moment and also the elation and relief when it was over.

The show opened with Kane and Cena continuing their “you should feel hate/rise above hate” feud that is generating very little interest from me, and hopefully from anyone.  I like all parties involved and yet I seem to hate everything about this, go figure.  Kane promos up saying we all hate our significant other, and job and kids.  That’s a lot of assuming; personally I love my fiance, she doesn’t criticize me for watching this crap, instead of kids I have a ton of cool toys, and well I don’t LOVE my job, I don’t hate it and I assume most of the people in the crowd probably don’t have a job.  So after Kane berates the crowd for not embracing the hate Cena has had ENOUGH and runs to the ring saving us from a long winded “WWE universe is great because they can do whatevs” promo.  So they brawl into the parking lot until Kane pulls a Batman and disappears.

Sheamus/Santino vs Jinder Mahal/Wade Barrett: Pretty any match where Santino gets the pinfall during a televised event is a waste.

Edge is announced as the first inductee into the WWE hall of fame 2012. I’m fine with that, be it a little early, and no Mick Foley but whatevs.  Now we speculate on who inducts him…I’m putting my money on Lita’s boobs.

Backstage: Zack Ryder is scared of Kane and invites Eve on a date in order to leave the arena. Ryder being serious and running around scared of Kane sucks…YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!  Message to the WWE, when Zack Ryder is no longer popular and they blame internet fans for being wrong about him, watch this episode of Raw again followed by a Z True Long Island Story Marathon.

Daniel Bryan vs Kofi:  Ok this was my favorite part of the night.  Starting the match off with the hand shake was great for many reasons.  2) Making Daniel Bryan pull a submission out of his ass and making a guy tap early is awesome. 3) If he’s gotta turn heel to get over I’m fine with it.

Ok here’s the debut of Brotus Clay…


wait sorry, wrong Video.

There it is…Somebody call my mama, it’s the Funkasaurus! Ok this caught me off guard and I didn’t hate it, it was actually kinda funny.  I guess the alternative was poor man’s Mark Henry, so I’ll accept it.  He squashes Curt Hawkins and funks on out the door. Sure.

Punk vs Jack Swagger:  Good match, a slow burn but a good match.  Punk gets the win. Vickie and Swagger won’t be at ringside for the title match at Rumble. HUZAH!

The Miz threatens Ricardo Rodriguez and makes him go the ring and make fun of R-Truth in order to draw him out.  He does, Truth comes out, so does Miz, brawl, move on.  It was a decent segment because Ricardo is really talented on the mic and had some legit funny moments. It sucked because R-Truth is a shitty face and the entire segment was really racist.

Jericho came out again in a repeat of last week having what seemed like a mini stroke and a good cry.  I giggled, that’s about it, we wait.

More Hall of Fame announcement; This one I was a lot more excited about.

So Eve comes out for a match when the Kane music hits and Ryder comes out to save her so they run to his car.  The tire has been slashed so he has to change it and I start having WCW Nitro flashbacks.  (Somebody run the Stiners off the road at once!)

Cena vs Ziggler: Ziggler tries to save us by having a wrestling match but fuck that, We need Kane attacking Zack Ryder backstage after the tire fiasco and gingerly placing him on some wooden crates so Cena can leave his match because fuck wrestling I guess.  So Cena tries to save Ryder but gets glove in the mouth by Kane.  Fade to suck, the end.


~ by ATOM on January 10, 2012.

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