The Top 8 Fictional Bands (From Movies)

Picks like The Blues Brothers and Spinal Tap are easy, I wanna honor the unsung heroes of the fictional cinema bands.  Honorable Mention: Mystery (Detriot Rock City) Sex-Ba-Bomb(Scott Pilgram vs The World) Big Fun (Heathers) Bloodlust (Last House on The Left) Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans (Clerks)

8. Marvin Berry and The Starlighters

Marvin Berry and The Star-lighters hit the heights of their stardom when they were tapped to perform at Hill Valley’s “Enchantment Under The Sea” Dance.  Sometime during the night the band took a smoke break and witnessed a little man being stuffed into the trunk of a car. Guitarist Marvin Berry helped pick the lock and cut his hand in the process of freeing the man.  The little man in the trunk was a new Hill Valley student named Calvin Klien, and lucky Calvin himself was a guitar player and filled in for Marvin.  Calvin performed the song “Johnny B Goode” and Marvin actually called his cousin Chuck Berry an aspiring musician himself who would go on to steal the song from Calvin.  No lawsuit would ever be filled because Calvin dissapeared later that night never to be seen in Hill Valley again.

7. Love Burger-Can’t Hardy Wait

“Anyone order a love burger? Well done!” The heights of stardom for Love Burger came at a Hunington Hillside Graduation party but before the band could kick off their set, tempers flared over bands stage attire.  The band broke up and reunited later that night.

6. The Lone Rangers

When KPPX radio DJ Ian “The Shark” broke the California heavy metal band “The Sons of Thunder” another local band got a whacky idea.  Chaz, Rex and Pip making up the trio “The Lone Rangers” took over KPPX with plastic guns demanding their demo be played on the air. The demo gets partially played but that  was enough for Jimmy Wing of Pallentine records who ventures to KPPX to offer The Long Rangers a contract.  Much to the chagrin of lead singer “Chaz” Chester Oggilvey who smells bullshit and wipes his ass with it. After a quick live performance outside of the radio station and eminante incarseration The Lone Rangers eventually released an album “Live in Prison” and goes triple Platinum.

5. Crucial Taunt

Crucial Taunt originated out of Chicago Illinois in the early 90’s getting their first gigs locally at “The Gasworks” a rock and roll club in Chicago.  Their big break came when the bass player and lead vocalist Cassandra began dating a local public access TV personality Wayne Campbell.  Crucial Taunt played a live set on Campbell’s locally produced variety show entitled Wayne’s World.  Luckly Frankie Sharp from Sharp records sees the performance in his passing limousine and signs the band to a 6 album deal.


4. Sexual Chocolate-Coming to America

Playing mostly church functions and Whitney Huston covers in the Jackson Heights area of New York. Sexual Chocolate’s front man Randy Watson was also famous for playing “Joe The Police Man” in the “What’s going down” episode of “That’s My Mama!”

2. Steel Dragon

Steel Dragon is an odd mish mash of musicians of unknown Origins.  Formed by two British musicians Kirk Cuddy on guitar and Bobby Beers on vocals with another Brit in Dummer AC.  Oddly the other two members were  two American musicians; lead guitarist named Ghode, and bass player Jorge, also an American.  This band was one of the hottest hair metal bands of the early 2000’s? But hit a speed bump when lead singer Bobby Beers left the band because he was so gay?  The remaining members soldered on and hired the lead singer of Blood Pollution (Steel Dragon tribute band) Chris “Izzy” Cole to sing for Steel Dragon.  Cole fell off stage in his first gig, and did last the summer as singer but later on during the tour Cole hands the microphone to a fan who finishes the set and may or may not have been killed by the angry crowd when they realized when they paid 80 bucks to see some kid from the crowd sing all the songs. Cole travels to Seattle to make god awful coffee house grunge music with Blood Pollution guitarist Rob Malcolm.

2. Max Rebo Band

The Max Rebo Band were a trio (Max, Droopy and Sy Snoodles) and their most famous gig came as the house band at Jabba’s Palace.   The Trio’s hit song was a  Huttesse pop song titled “Lapti Nek” (“Work It Out”); the lyrics are about dancing according to the lead singer.  Tragically the band died aboard Jabba’s sail barge entertaining the crowd one afternoon when a group of radical religious terrorists attacked the ship and killed everyone on board.

1. Wyld Stallyns

Starting as a local garage band from San Dimas, California fronted by Bill S Prestin esq. and Ted “Theadore” Logan. Many pitfalls hit this band early in it’s inception including not knowing how to play their instruments.  After deciding that hiring the talents of Eddie Van Halen were unrealistic, they decided the next best thing was traveling through time and building the band that way.  This included the addition of “The Babes” two 15th century English Princesses, a future version of both bill and ted, a weird naked Alien named Station, two robot constructs of Bill and Ted and Death himself on the bass (You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the Reaper).  They had one well known hit “God Gave Rock and Roll to you” subsequently written by the band “Kiss”

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~ by ATOM on January 8, 2012.

2 Responses to “The Top 8 Fictional Bands (From Movies)”

  1. How was spinal tap not in here?!

    • hahaha I knew I’d get called out on that eventually. Seemed too obvious so I just skipped it since they’re like the ultimate fictional band.

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