Monday Night Raw: 11/14: Raw Gets Rocked’

Raw in fahkin boston kid! Being a Bostonian my WWE live experience has been up and down over the last few years; I was at the 900’s Raw in 2009 and say pretty much jack shit because that was a pathetic Raw besides the awesome heel promo CM Punk cut.  (oh memories)

Then I was at last years Royal Rumble which I thought was a really good show, and I got to meet Justin and Josh from Chairshot Reality who despite the advice from a friend I did not RKO them inside the arena.  I was a big fan of Del Rio winning the Rumble and I was not a fan of the racist heat from the mark fans outside The Garden after the show, but what can you do?  So this Raw rolled around and is billed as “The Big one” and the return of The Rock but I decided not to attend because Mondays I work a double and like any red-blooded American I love money. So I decided to watch it from the comfy confines of a dark room because I still haven’t convinced my fiance that Monday Night Raw is entertaining television and Wrestlemania 27 didn’t help my cause because that was the only wrestling event she has watched with me and lets face facts, last years wrestlemania sucked a rock sized dildo.

So here we are and I’m expecting big things from tonight’s Raw because like process of elimination and in grand WWE fashion they have lowered my expectations.

So raw opens with Michael Cole heading to the ring and it dawns on me that going into any 3 hour Raw there’s gonna be some filler and we start off with much anticipated Micheal Cole challenge.  JR makes his way out after an introduction by Cole and we’re introduced to the Michael Cole challenge which is a series of 3 different games.  First up, arm wrestling and I wont lie I wonder if JR has any upper body strength and Cole is some what funny in this segment.  Well it’s a squash by JR, I thought maybe they’d take it seriously.  Oh well.  Next is the dance and Oh the fun!  Cole dances and then JR dances and you really just feel embarrassed for everyone involved. So JR wins the dance off and then the third challege is who weights less, which…OK thats pretty funny;  Cole weights in at 200 hot pounds!  JR climbs up on the scale and….oh f-that JR does not weight 240!  If Cole really wanted to make JR feel like shit he shoulda reminded him how he got to call Mick Foley’s first championship title win in 1998 here in Boston (Worseter) while JR was at home with his face melting.   Well Thank god CM Punk is coming out so they can stop embaressing JR and Punk gives Cole the whole your boring and no one likes you routine but he’s just out there so Johnny Ace can come out set up the main event (I guess) of Cm Punk and Big Show vs Mark Henry and Del Rio.  Like I said before this was just filler for a 3 hour Raw.

A stretch limo pulls up and Striker teases that it’s the Rock but it’s actually Mick Foley which is cool to see although internet speculation pretty much made his apperance tonight a given.  He looked good in a just for men Kevin Nash kinda way.  I thought maybe him showing up could have been done a little more dramatic than a backstage spot but whatever, it’s good to see Mick Foley, I shouldn’t complain.

Kofi/Sin Cara vs Cody Rhodes and Hunico: I guess they’re not even going to attempt explaining where Evan Bourn went….if your a kid do you assume they left him behind after a Raw a few weeks ago? Rather than the truth which is being suspended for smoking oregano.  Well here we go with this match; First off Sin Cara got no pop from what I could tell on TV and this was confirmed by a friend who was in the crowd and gave me some notes for my review. (C-Diddy…HOLLA!) and Kofi got the decent hometown pop.  Second off; stop changing Cody Rhodes music! I loved the original, then the depressing remix I liked, and now he’s coming out to the butt-rock remix..and finally holy shit Hunico walked to the ring in dead silence.  Anyways the match was pretty average and at one point a USA chant broke out while Hunico and Sin Cara were in the ring, I get it these guys suck but suppress the USA chant for Bruins/Canadians games even though the Bruins have maybe 2 Americans on the team.  Cody gets the pin on Kofi and the win;  Decent match, nothing special.

Santino and Zack Ryder have a backstage segment trying to sell me a video game.  Well done sirs, cause I’m gonna preorder that shit next week…but I don’t want The Rock cover.

Vickie and Ziggler walk out to announce Ziggler will be Christian’s replacement at Survivor Series which erases the idea of him defending the US title at the pay-per view, but atleast he’ll be wrestling, that’s good enough.  Ziggler cuts a good promo and prepares for his match with Mason Ryan.

During the commerical my buddy informed me that Ziggler got a huge pop when he asked the crowd who they came to see tonight, then decided to get heat when he said he was best friend’s with John Laurenitis.

Mason Ryan vs Ziggler: So Mason Ryan comes out and gets butchered by the Boston crowd much to my delight; I have nothing against this guy except he’s getting the Alex Riley you don’t deserve this push I guess maybe to see if he can run with it….but he can’t, he can barely walk.  Match ends in a DQ when Vicky slaps Ryan.

At the third hour we are treated to Mick Foley presenting John Cena with a “This is your life segment”  Immediately I think to myself….”something different” and different it was, and pretty fun.   Two good guests; one being Bull Bucanan as Cena’s best tag team partner of all time.  Bull looked pretty ragged but he was funny in a pathetic way… but the best guy they wheeled out was Cena’s dad for a few reasons; One it was actually Cena’s dad, he has a local promotion in this area so he was comfortable in the ring, and he was genuinely funny saying “Don’t boo my son” and even an attitude era “Cena doesn’t suck, you suck!” and John Cena looking legit embarrassed by his dad, I must say it was good.  Cena’s dad leaves and Mick says he has one more guest but before anything can happen The Rock’s music plays, he hits the ring, rock bottoms Mick Foley and exits before the first verse of his music was complete, leaving a smiling John Cena and me smiling…Well Played Raw.

Sheamus vs Jack Swagger:  I have to hand it to Swagger and Sheamus, they put on a good big man match;  Live notes state that Sheamus got a big pop and also confirmed for me what I thought I had heard during this match.  Through my tv was a chant I had heard for years during Boston Celtic blowout games which was “Scalabrine” this was in reference to Brian Scalabrine;

the over paid great white red headed bench warmer who became a crowd favorite because….well because we here in boston love us some uncoordinated happy go lucky white dudes with red hair….I guess.  And since Sheamus turned face by smiling more, well a connection was made.  Anywho Sheamus gets the win and continues to pick up steam.  He’s becoming my dark horse for the Rumble this year.

Kelly Kelly vs Natalya:  this match was 1:07.  I will not be talking about it.

Mark Henry and Del Rio vs Punk and Big Show:  Having Del Rio attack Punk before match was really pointless and had no bearing on this match whatsoever.  My friend in the crowd said the crowd was dead for this match and I’ll be perfectly honest, I have preparing a delicious Turkey Burger (shut up!) during this match.  Del Rio picked up the pin fall…it was ok.

Santino comes out and revisits his how close he came to winning the rumble this past year in Boston, which really just detracked from Del Rio’s win; So during his speech The NWO comes out (sans everyone but Nash) and he kicks Santino and Jackknifes’ him.

At this point in the show they reveal “Jonah Hill” will be the guest host and Jerry Lawler mentions how “Get him to the Greek” is one of his favorite movies….not Superbad, Moneyball or Forgetting Sarah Marshall but Get Him to The Fucking Greek!?  Go kill yourself please.

Barrett vs Orton:  Even I have a hard time say “Barrett Barrage ”   but whatever this guy is getting a push.  This match was better on smackdown last week, but it’s purpose was to push the Survivor Series match and fill time, it was fine.

Ok so this is why we’re here;  The Rock comes out and talks shit about John Cena and his catch phrases and then tries to create a new one of his own in “boots to asses” and atfirst I thought it was corny but holy hell did it catch on.  The gist of his promo was Twitter, Twitter, Boots to Asses, Twitter, Treanding, Twitter.  They peppered in The Miz and R-Truth, and brought down Cena eventually.  The Miz said how he’s already sick of the Cena/Rock crap and he’s kinda right.  I thought they were gonna try and build this match but they really didn’t and Miz/RTruth just got beat up again.  The Miz gets Rock Bottomed, and then Cena goes to AA Truth but The Rock takes Truth and Rock Bottoms him, leaving Cena with a 40 point assist and Rock gets the Kill, and all know that’s not cool.  So the Rock stealing Cena’s kill is our big build up to Mania.

This wasn’t a terrible segment because these two guys on the screen at the same time is gold I will admit that, and it was entertaining…but they didn’t build the match and continue to make The Miz and R-Truth useless.
Dark Match: Cena was already in the ring when Punk and Orton make their way out,  he didn’t say against who but I assume it was Henry, Miz and Truth.  Anyways the crowd was chanting we want Ryder so Punk leaves the match for like 5 minutes only to return with Zack Ryder who got a huge pop and the win.  From what I heard The crowd was hot for Punk and Orton but The Rock got the biggest pop of the night.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending of the tv broadcast but when I went online afterwards and saw how many people enjoyed it I cheered up and was just happy that people are enjoying Raw again.  It seemed like a solid Raw over all, not a ton of build up to the main event of the Pay Per View but I guess there doesn’t need to be; Rock and Cena is all they need from what I saw last night.

 

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~ by ATOM on November 15, 2011.

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