Monday Night Raw Review: Liverpool
It was tempting with the Bruin’s game opposing Raw to give up on the raw review because of how bad the last two weeks have been, but i have a duty as a journalist (lol) to continue to report wrestling news. I’d like to state that I don’t do a Smackdown review because it’s the secondary show and I usually don’t watch it untill sunday. Well consistently over the past few weeks Smackdown has been better than Raw. The wrestling has been better and it doesn’t get muddled with discontinued story lines. Last week especially Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes had a PPV worthy match to open the show. That being said, lets go with what is probably a throw away Raw since The WWE is putting a ton into next weeks Raw here in Boston which I’ve decided to skip and watch at home because Monday is a busy work day for me and I Hate The Rock.
Ok I don’t hate The Rock, I Just hate this idea that he’s the best. Ok all kidding aside someone needs to play the Heel in this Rock/Cena feud and I just don’t think they’re gonna do it. The Rock in my opinion is most entertaining as heel, they don’t have the balls to turn Cena full Heel and I also don’t think Cena should have to put over the Rock which is what will happen. I’m not a Cena mark I can just appreciate his work ethic and doesn’t deserve the shit he gets from Internet fans.
John opens the night to a chorus of boos in England and immediately address how no one cares about Raw tonight. Well he’s gonna make people care because tonight he’s teaming up with a future WWE Hall of Famer. Miz and Truth come out and cut a pretty lame promo and even acknowledged how they’ve looked like fools these last two weeks. It begs the question if each week Cena beats up Miz and Truth, why does he need The Rock? Just get him a warm body out there, Trent Beretta would love a survivor series match. Anywho Cena trumps up his secret partner and I’m hoping it’s Steven Regal (England!) and not Bret Hart because well, seeing him in the ring breaks my heart. Right when they hit the ring to attack Cena Zack Ryder comes out to help and beats up on Truth. I guess he’s the partner, although he’s NOT a future hall of famer…I heard Mich Foley was in England with the WWE….? Maybe? Anyone, Hello?
Ziggler/Morrison: The monday night delight John Morrison takes on Ziggler in the opening match as Ziggler teaches Morrison how to properly dropkick and clothesline. For the first time we get a “Lets go Ziggler chant” A good match that spans a commercial break and Morrison breaks his losing streak by pinning the United States champion. I had a problem with this last week with champions constantly being pinned in non-title matches. WHY!? Stop discrediting your championship titles.
Mason Ryan/JTG: The match begins with a Mason Ryan promo video, and yeah I get it, he’s huge. I wish they could inter cut his promo with CM Punk telling Triple H a few months back that bodybuilder look guys get pushed while better wrestlers get left behind. I guess if anything I’m looking forward to using his template in WWE12 to create some old Rob Leifeld X-Force characters. I’m smelling a JTG upset tonight. Nah, but I was right about predicting a horribly boring match. pass.
Del Rio/Kofi Kingston: After Raw last week it was revealed that Evan Bourn has been suspended because he likes to get high. (see what I did there) In this match it seems the WWE will just ignor Evan Bourn for 4 weeks and let them keep the titles. I guess there really are NO other tag-teams, and if they don’t defend the titles no one will noticed anyways. This match was fine, couple high spots but nothing to write a review about. Quick finish, Del Rio wins with the cross arm breaker. Post match arm breaker gets Cm Punk to the win (Not my CM Punk) As he stands at the top of the stage Jerry Lawler says as they fade to commercial”could we get another pipe bomb” Well this current incarnation of CM Punk a pipebomb would be if he said Monday night raw has sucked since SummerSlam because he doesn’t work as a face.
Ok maybe I’m being over dramatic with CM Punk because he’s over as hell, and I’m just being selfish and his promo here is pretty good because he takes a giant shit all over Del Rio’s mic skills, it was actually pretty fun. Del Rio is great in the ring, one of the best they have right now and I did find his shtick funny as first but Cm Punk is right, it’s become one dimensional. This segment was really good, and ended with these guys brawling for a bit and then poor Richardo getting another GTS.
Just want to add that The Bret Hart/Shawn Michael’s Rivalry DVD is awesome, I plan on reviewing it later, so that’s it, it’s worth a buy.
Jack Swagger/Santino. An ok match, what the hell happened to Swagger’s eye? Victory Lap.
Kelly Kelly is shown walking backstage like the undercover Martian that has to blow Martin Short in Mars Attacks as on lookers tip over coffee cups with their unconcealed erections. Ok only one of those things happened.
This is prelude to the announcement she will be on the cover of…….Maxim Magazine. 😦 The finest fully clothed women of the world. Beth and Natalya come out to make fun of Kelly for being a hot blond….???? But then Eve and Alicia Fox come out and they run away….WHAT!? So they reveal the cover of the magazine and it Kelly in a bikini. Ya know, what she wears to the ring every night.
Kevin Nash comes out and cuts an “I hate Triple H” promo but can’t come up with one good reason why he hates me other than Triple H forgot to call him back some night.
Cena/Ryder vs Miz and Truth was another dud. I have to be honest Ryder blew some pretty big spots, only high point was holy hell R-Truth smacked his head off the floor and still continued the match. Truth holds down Cena’s leg so he can’t kick out and Miz/Truth get the win. Cena smirks with the look of “oh you guys” and that’s it, Raw ends. Making Truth and Miz look stupid and somehow less powerful than when Raw started. Next week is the big Raw in Boston where they will somehow come up with a way to make everyone look stupid as no one goes over.
This Raw gets 4 dismissive wanks out of 5. (that’s a reverse meter, it’s like a D+)