Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday; Viva La Mexico!
I would like to start this article by saying that the more I thought about it, the more I really disliked last weeks Raw. The opening was different and enjoyable but rest the show smelled ripe of fresh dog shit. From the people that defend the WWE on a regular basis I tell you this; one day people aren’t going to stick around to “see what happens next” and they are gonna lose their audience. The WWE product got really hot over the summer time and it was thanks to CM Punk and to a lesser extent John Cena. They had a good story and a lot buzz and during Punk’s first tirade against the WWE the two names he dropped while ripping the WWE a new ass was Triple H and John Lauranitis. Now everytime I turn on Raw both of those guys are on TV, constantly! Work, shoot, whatever it was that wasn’t his point. Also I’d like to add that Lauranitis gets heat, but it’s not good heat like “Oh man I can’t wait till her gets his” it’s closer to “holy shit, if this guy isn’t off my tv in 10 seconds I’m putting on Monday Night Football” Ok maybe that’s a stretch I won’t just give up but please just give us good stories and an entertaining Raw because I’ve already sworn off TNA for life.
Also I’d like to add that I’ve got too much on my plate for a Smackdown review but I still watch it and I think it’s getting pretty good. There’s a lot more wrestling and less muddled story lines…and more Booker and what the hell! (maybe it’s low expectations, who knows)
So this week we’re live…er…recorded in Mexico City and the word this is all building to Survivor Series (because they’re not interesting in building Vengence) and by god they better start that built tonight. Or I’m gonna….see what happens next I guess.
So I avoided spoilers for this weeks Raw and it’s starts out with…FUCK! John Laurenitus. Seriously he comes off like a shitty actor in a play who can’t remember his lines! Whatever, so he calls back JR to the ring and says he shouldn’t have fired him. Ok cool, so what was the fucking point!? GAH! Anyways he also addresses his problems with Michael Cole and sets the main event which will be Del Rio and Cole vs JR and John Cena. Apathy sets in immediately. Also they’re not the Spanish announcers so why would Mexico City care about either of these guys?
First Match is a 6 man tag with Morrison, Orton and Sheamus vs Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry and Christian. All the faces get huge pops in Mexico City, it’s a pretty hot crowd and a packed house and they seem to enjoy them some wrestling.
Pretty good action to start but it quickly turns to a traditional tag team match when Rhodes and Orton fight and take it outside of the arena. Mark Henry finished the match with a really cool finish on Raw jobber John Morrison. Good match, no point.
Johnny Ace is interrupted on his phone backstage backstage by the Bella Twins who I guess want to wrestle I think, saying don’t forget about us. He says he wont and then he gets back on his phone to fuck up his lines he’s trying desperately to remember it’s so painstaking to watch. Who’s he always on the phone with anyways? We’re supposed to think it’s his wife I guess. Del Rio shows up to bitch about the main event, which he should cause it’s fuckin stupid. Ace tells him the winner picks the stipulation at Vengence. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a body slam challenge.
Natalya vs Eve; Eve won the off air lottery and is magically the number one contender for the Divas title at Vengeance. Shouldn’t Natalya be the number one contender. Well Eve wins the match with a 10 minute moonsault. No Replay.
I did laugh at Michael Cole claiming he heard Jim Ross was “smoking” while preparing for their match. He just blurted it out randomly for no reason.
Cm Punk vs The Miz. Punk gets a huge pop in Mexico City coming out first and I know I’ve mentioned this before but I want CM Punk the asshole we used to be. I’m glad he’s seeing success but I’m gonna be selfish for a minute and say that The CM Punk I saw cut one of the best heel promos at the 900th episode of Raw in Boston which was the only good part of that entire show needs to come back. and Bring back “This Fire”…ok anyways… Second Awesome Truth comes out with the “you suck” remix which is getting really stupid. I like these guys a ton but the singing of the song every time down to the ring is really stupid and The Miz losses interest little by little every week. Their in the ring promo with Punk is better and Mexico is one of the only cities that still keeps up with the “asshole” chant. (I think) Good stuff. After they give some awkward catch phrases as Punk just looks on trying not to laugh Triple H comes out to back up CM Punk. So the match starts with Triple H watching his back but as the match progresses Johnny Ace shows up with Cops and I guess Triple H doesn’t have to proper paper work to be in Mexico City. So he’s wisked away so Punk can get his ass kicked by the awesome truth. Match ends in DQ and both men beat on Punk until refs break it up because nobody likes CM Punk.
Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger make there way out to the ring with Vickie Gurerro. Dolph insults with crowd with pro-USA propaganda and gets a ton of heat. I think Dolph is very underrated on the mic, I enjoy his smug, smartest guy in the ring persona and if they were smart they would make Jack Swagger dumb as hell…he’s already halfway there. Anyhow Swagger gets the mic and starts the national anthem, very funny and out of key. He fucks up and has to start over when he’s interrupted by WOO WOO WOO Zack Ryder makes his way to the ring to a decent pop and I’m just glad they haven’t forgotten about him on Raw.
The match is actually a squash cause Ryder gets a really quick win with the Ruff Ryder. Ryder celebrates but both guys surround him but Mason Ryan makes the save and oddly enough has a match against Ziggler…NEXT!
So Mason Ryan’s Raw push continues until he breaks the well-ness policy. This match kinda sucked even though Ziggler did all he could. Mason Ryan went brain dead and wouldn’t stop whaling on Ziggler so he got DQ’ed. Then some guy jumped the rail and poked Mason Ryan with a pin, he popped and covered the front row with HGH like a Gallagher show.
Main Event: So JR and Michael Cole start off the match and JR winds up and gives him his most devastating punch to the ear. So Cole tags Del Rio, JR tags Cena and for the rest of the night it’s Del Rio vs Cena, which for a stand alone match it wasn’t all that bad. The action was good back and forth but once Del Rio decided to bail Cena and JR whaled on Cole and JR got him to tap for the win. After the match Cena takes out Del Rio and counts to 10 signifying that it’s gonna be a last man standing match.
I Want Vengeance to be over with and just move on to Survivor Series already. I’ll be doing a Vengeance review Sunday night, so keep an eye out. Until then, try and see what happens next.