Raw Review: No Confidence

After the way Hell in the cell ended this was the one week I wanted to see Triple H open Raw and we get Drew fuckin McIntyre.  Most of the blogs I read love this guy and I don’t get it.  Unless he’s out here to tie up his loose ends with Kelly Kelly about how he “cares” about her count me out.  I don’t get the appeal, I guess maybe I missed his program with Matt Hardy for the US title on smackdown two years ago but I bet it sucked.  Anyhow he’s out here to get the shit kicked out of him by Randy Orton.  Two RKO’s and this one ends pretty easily.  After the match the worlds wettest man Mark Henry comes out so they can exchange punches.  Orton dumps him over the barricade.  commercial.

John Morrison slows down time to challenge Mark Henry to a match.  Not a bad match but Henry ends it with a “strongest slam” by the strongest man.  After the match Henry grabs the mic and address the return of the Big Show, I’m foreseeing a fast paced slobberknocker.

Johnny Ace talks to David Otunga and the Masters of Evil (Swagger, Ziggler, Cody, Del Rio, Christian who have a match together tonight against everyone else I guess) talking about the law suit Miz and R-Truth are filing against the WWE.  I guess their out of jail.  I guess.  Then Johnny Ace starts stands awkwardly then starts texting.  grown.

I turn on monday night football to see Curtis Painter looking like Greg the Hammer Valentine.  God I hate the Colts.

Back from commercial and The Masters of Evil with Del Rio picking up the rear.  I hope he’s gonna read names out of the phone book or sing John Cena’s theme music…foriegn people talk funny.

He talks about how Triple H doesn’t know how to run the WWE and talks about how the cage was raised so Miz and Truth could enter the ring last night.  I think Jack Swagger is wearing lip gloss, my tv is very sharp.  They pass the mic around to talk shit about Triple H.  I hope they just skip over Jack Sthwagger….nope!  Bottom line is no one likes Triple H.  BOOM Motorhead and here comes Lemmy! Ok fine it’s Triple H. He harkens back to a time when Men fought it out rather than whine and cry.  I personally do not remember these times, but they sound fun.  I wonder if I can file a law suit against the WWE for watching Sin Cara botch trampoline jumps and no Daniel Bryan.

Kelly Kelly and Eve walk to the ring and Kelly looks really happy and Jim Ross exclaims that she’s hurting inside. Kelly has no insides…she has dead eyes and no soul.  Beth and Natalya are their opponents, that’s right, I think there’s only 4 divas, how did I not see that coming.  Holy shit Kelly Kelly got disqualified for beating the shit out of Beth outside the ring.  She snapped and slams Beth’s head against the announcer’s table. Is this a heel turn or a nervous breakdown?  It was a lot more entertaining than last nights match.

Johnny Ace and Triple H backstage.  He tells H to address the talent in the locker room…I think Percy Watson really needs an apology for Hell in a Cell.  So H wants everyone in the ring so he can address them…is that the main event.  Are the Tiger’s winning?  I’ll be back.

Tie Game; And we’re back for a commercial for fast 5.  Nope a deleted scene from Fast 5.  Jesus if this is what they cut the rest of the movie must be pure gold.

Back to Raw; FUCK! Jinder Mahal.  and the return on Santino after his DUI (not really) Santino wins in 30 seconds with the cobra.  I smell a return match on smackdown and I for one, can’t wait.

Promo video for Brotus Clay.  Awesome, another fat slow boring wrestler in line for a push, maybe he’ll retire another awesome wrestler in the process. (typed with both middle fingers….it was a long video)

Now they’re showing the end of Hell in a Cell in full on Raw.

Now I’m not trying to be an internet smark but does it seem like CM Punk got put on the back burner already?  I have two favorites; one of em won Money in the bank in Daniel Bryan and one of em won WWE title in July and I felt like interest was at an all time high and the show was at it’s best.  Since then, both guys have been circling the drain.  Not like in the dumps but declining non the less.  And now with The Miz and Truth; they have them sending a message as Mike and Ronnie using the CM Punk reality angle but with Punk it seemed genuine and with them it’s just part of the show.  I have to say I really enjoy Truth and Miz but it seems like Punk sort of created this reality angle and the WWE used it for Miz and Truth.  I shouldn’t complain, at least Punk is wrestling on Raw weekly, Can’t say the same for Daniel Bryan.

Cena, Punk, Bourn, Kofi, Mason Ryan and Sheamus. Vs Del Rio, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Ziggler, Swagger and David Otunga.  I’m guessing the final segment of Raw will be long and hopefully eventful because you’ve got all the heavy hitters out for this match.  Anyhow I’m not gonna recap the entire match, it’s a 12 man tag and I’m not getting paid by the word…use your imagination.  (Tiger’s take the lead 3- and Sabathia threw one in the dirt on an intentional walk lol….I’m sorry it was a long match and I’m sick of just for men commercials) Back to the match.  And I can tell you this match is really long but worth it, not really boring much just probably most of the show but entertaining none the less .  Good finish too as it turned into a melee and everyone gives someone a finisher with the conclusion being Sheamus kicking Zigglers head clean off and a pin.  Ya know I have to say I usually side with the heels cause they’re more interesting but Sheamus just works as a face and works so well.

Final segment the locker room empties out to surround the ring, and also I guess Lawler has recovered from anal bleeding cause he’s back as well.  It’s fun to see who stands next to who, I like to think that Wade Barrett and Mark Henry are friends on the reals.  HHH enters the ring and address everyone.  It’s all about the WWE universe blah blah blah…Wade Barrett speaks first representing the wrestlers, and behind him is a confused fan with a Harlem Heat sign.  The refs bitch about being beaten up, I’m hoping JTG bitches about craft services.  The bottom line is everyone thinks it’s out of control on Raw, even though nothings blown up in like 4 years.  The vote is no confidence and a thumbs down.  This happened in Phantom Menace, they’re stealing plot points from the fucking star wars prequel. Then the announcers walk out leaving just Triple H in the ring alone.  Even the camera guys bail.  The last guy to walk out is JR and some little kid boos and tries to hit JR with a toy belt. Everyone walks out leaving Triple H alone in the ring.  Jokes aside an interesting end to Raw with no one siding with Triple H and it does leave you wondering, what’s going to happen next and isn’t that the point.


~ by ATOM on October 3, 2011.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: