Hell in a Cell: Someone’s going to hell!

Only 2 weeks after Night of Champions here we are at Hell in a Cell.  Next week is Vengeance and a few days after that will be Survivor Series.  Anyhow, WWE promised us tonight someone is going to Hell….I hope it’s Heath Slater but we shall see.

Christian vs Sheamus: One more match! I’ve enjoyed this small fued and I”m glad these guys made it on a PPV card.  I came in at the tail end of the match but both guys work awesome in the ring and what I saw was very entertaining.  I really hope this is a begining of another push for Sheamus.  He gets the win with the Karate Kid Crane Kick.

Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry but just gets yelled at.  Mark Henry mocks Matt Striker by doing his best white guy voice, very entertaining.  Mark Henry may have the sweatiest beard ever.

Sin Cara vs Sin Cara.  A great way to cover up a drug scandal with a body double conspiracy. Evil Sin Cara comes out in black as to not confuse the audience.   I hope Daniel Bryan comes out as Sin Cara number 3 and kicks somebodies face off.  Evil Sin Cara starts with some unique Submissions done better by Natalya, but Booker has promised high excitement.  So far it’s pretty boring and the crowd is growing disinterested.  I’m not totally sold on the Mexican style mixing with the WWE style.   These always seem reserved and there’s a lot of pausing and stalling, it just seems awkward.  Well I guess I’m not alone as the boring chant starts.  The finish was good with a roll up powerbomb combination. Good Sin Cara wins. I think.

Ah my new favorite new character David Otunga attorney at Law.  He and CM Punk yuck it up backstage with some “I Hate Lawyers” jokes.

Air Boom vs Ziggler/Swagger

Air Supply comes out first in matching blue and then Ziggy and Swaggs come out.  A thrown together but  good mid-card match non the less.  Ziggler and Swagger dominate most of the match and set up a top rope powerbomb but Bourn reverses it into a hurricarana (frankenstiner I dont wanna get beat up by Scott Stiner) and gets the pin fall.  I thought maybe a run in by Mason Ryan but nah, clean win for Air Balloonknot.

Randy Orton vs Mark Henry (Heavyweight championship Hell in a Cell) I’m loving Mark Henry’s title run and I hope it does not end tonight, I’m expecting something from Cody Rhodes tonight, run in, long drawn out promo mid-match, what have you.  Orton starts off the match using the cage against Henry and he puts him down early for a near fall.  Mark Henry turns things around on Orton using the cage as well and then huffing and puffing and growling like a dog.  At one point Henry chucked the steel steps at Orton who dodged them but it was a fuckin 70mph fastball, very impressive.  Henry tells Orton “welcome to my hell” which proves what I’ve thought the last few weeks, Mark Henry has a microphone in his throat.  He’s so fucking loud in the ring you can hear him clearer than you can Booker saying “WHAT THE HEEAL!” The pace slows a bit but Henry stays in command by punishing Orton with submissions and sweating all over him.  Orton then turns the tide and goes to his special place and hits an RKO but Henry kicks out.   Orton sets up for the punt to the skulls but Henry jumps up and worlds strongest slam.  The Pin and the win.  Henry continues his tear in the WWE with clean wins, very impressive.

After the match he goes back after Orton with a chair but Orton uses it against him and beats the holy hell out of Henry.  Seemed pointless, just to keep face for Orton but I love their keeping the title on Henry.

Cody Rhodes comes out with the bag squad and he introduces a special velvet bag and inside is the classic intercontinental championship title.  He drops the names of the greatest IC title holders (No Jericho) and says he will be better than them.  He says he’ll defend it anytime anywhere and then suddenly Johnny Langergistis (git it, cause he can’t fucking talk correctly) comes out and says he will defend it right now, suddenly time stands still and it’s John fuckin Morriosn.  Cole flips a tit, Booker loves it, The bag squad pees inside the ring and boom we’ve got a match.  Morrison dominates early as Cody bumbles around in street clothes. Although I must admit the street clothes is a lot less awkward than the tighty whites and no knee pads.  Rhodes got the win via quick roll up, decent filler match.

I Forgot to mention Miz and R-Truth are at the show, first in the stands and now match stage beating the shit (off camera) out of Air Farts.

Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix

Nothing more awkward than a Beth Phoenix/Natalya fist bump. (ugh!) I think Natalya deserves this shot because she’s shown something the last few weeks and I like Beth but she’s been pretty flat. (not in the chest though, eh! ::elbows:: eh! elbows) Beth pretty much punishes Kelly for most of the match, makes her cry with a crappy version of Natalya’s new submission.  Beth eventually gets the pinfall in a decent/boring match.  Then Beth cries cause she won…what!?

CM Punk vs Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena (WWE Title Hell in a Cell) Now I do agree with Austin’s take on Del Rio, I like him a lot, very much so but I think he’s been pushed to the moon and it’s too soon.  Much like Sheamus it was too soon and it didn’t really work the way they wanted it too when he won the title.  Now that being said Cena doesn’t need the title, there for I’d like to see Punk win this.  In the meantime, all I know is someones going hell tonight!  Couple high spots early and a lot of 2 guys fight, 1 guy naps.  Best spot early was a neck breaker on Cena and DDT on Del Rio simultaneously by Punk.  Also a backdrop from Del Rio to Cena that just melts a set up steel chair, very cool stuff.  Not so cool was when Del Rio stacked Cena and Punk in the 69 position to and dropped an elbow…weird.  It gets interesting when Ricardo knocks out the key holder and opens the door to interfere in the match.  Cena AA Richardo outside the ring, but Del Rio hits Cena with a pipe and then goes back inside with the key and locks Cena out of the cage.  Original, I like it.  Del Rio and Punk then begin what is essentially a one on one match.  Del Rio still has the pipe and uses it for the win and new Champion Alberto Deeeeeeeel RIO! I don’t like it but I don’t hate it.  After the Cage is raised Miz and R-Truth run into the ring and use clubs or some baseball bat type things and clear house.  Then the cage lowers and everyone is locked inside and its pandemonium Monsoon!  Triple H runs down yelling, the locker room empties, they’re shaking the cage for no good reason while Miz and Truth lay waste to everyone in the ring.  Finally Cops and bolt cutters show and Miz and Truth surrender to the cops and are cuffed and hauled away.  Triple attacks them on the way out and he’s restrained.  This ends the show and I’m satisfied.  I’m not high on Del Rio as champion but I like it more than Cena as champion.  The end with Miz and R-Truth was really cool, I’m high on both those guys and I hope they get to be the focal point for a bit.  Can’t wait for Raw tomorrow.  Goodnight.


~ by ATOM on October 2, 2011.

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