Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday: Anal Bleeding Edition.

The show opens with Triple H explaining why he fired The Miz and R-Truth last week on Raw.  He showed a clip from WWE.com of The Miz and Truth putting everyone on notice, I’m sure everyone saw this on their frequent trips to WWE.com.  He says the 250,000 dollar fine in funny money is still on but it’s for Mizark Henry for not checking to see if some underling pre-cut the announcers table and subsequently caused Jerry Lawler anal bleeding according to Cole.  Subsequently “anal bleeding” trended world wide;  I swear every week it becomes more difficult to be a wrestling fan.

His ranting about this is cut short as Dolph Ziggler comes out and complains about Hugh Jackman giving him the Berzerker claw last week on Raw.  This is followed by Cody Rhodes coming to the ring and complaining about Randy Orton draining all of his blood and mana on Smackdown last week and finally Christian comes down and asks for “one more match” which I do think is a funny new gimmick of his.  Triple H sets up tonight’s card with all these complains saying Dolph will defend the US title against Zack Ryder, Christian will face John Cena (and Sheamus at Hell in a cell) and Cody Rhodes will defend the intercontinental breakfast title against 9 guys which also explains why anal bleeding was a trending topic on twitter last night.  This segment was a good departure with how the show had begun the last few weeks, no Cena, no Punk, no Del Rio, save it.

10 over the top Battle Royal for the Intercontinental: The only notable things in this battle royal is Sin Cara interfered to eliminate Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan didn’t win.  The Great white man Sheamus made it to end against Rhodes but interference from Christian gave Rhodes the win.  Again Rhodes used the mask to hit Sheamus and Eliminate him which a plastic mask in my opinion would hurt less than a closed fist, but it’s wrestling, I get it.

In the next segment they introduce David Otunga’s new character David Otunga attorney-at-Law.  He talks to Super Dave Johnny Ace about possible legal action against Triple H.  Much more convincing as a Lawyer than a wrestler.

I missed Mark Henry vs The Great Kahli due to fast forwarding.  Serious I’m on board with Mark Henry but I didn’t want to watch this match and it seemed to go by awfully quick.  Henry gets the pin fall against Jobber to the stars The Great Kahli

Eve and Kelly vs Beth and Natalya:  This was last weeks match with Beth winning this time.  I don’t hate these matches, there is really nothing worth writing about though.

Christian vs John Cena:  Sunday Night John Cena goes to Hell!  Thats the tag line for the PPV this weekend.  Finally the aesthetics of 2000 WWE is coming back in full force.  He promos and then has his match against Christian.  Good Match but over-shadowed by my favorite CM Punk character.  CM Punk Raw Announcer.  He had limited time to speak but made the most of it and showed again how crappy most of the other announcers are because this guy is on his toes.  Even getting off the now famous “You spilled my diet soda line”  Del Rio runs in and this match ends via people and stuff in the ring.

Dolph Ziggler vs Zack Ryder:  Bottom line is Ryder is over as a face to the degree that John Morrison was before he went out with a neck injury.  Good solid match but Swagger interferes and Dolph gets the win.  They beat down Ryder and then Air-Buds show up and help out Ryder.  This is interrupted by Teddy Long who says “now playahs, this is meh show and we play by meh rolls! ” He makes a 6-man tag so Vickie sets off for a 3rd partner for Ziggy and Swags.  They begin the match, interesting enough when Batista shows….just kidding, Mason Ryan shows up as the new member of the Million Dollar Corporation.  For no explainable reason mid match he attacks Swagger and Ziggler giving Ryder the pin fall and win. I think it was Cole who said Mason Ryan must be confused was good for a laugh.

Main Event: Cm Punk vs Alberto Del Rio:  This was a solid wrestling match between the ropes.  These two guys put on a very entertaining match with Punk getting a clean win via a boot to the head of Del Rio.  After the match the cell lowers and Ricardo gets locked inside as Cena (who was doing some announcing) forced him into the ring as the cage lowered.  Both guys hit a finisher on Ricardo when from under the ring comes Del Rio and he beats the holy hell out of both guys with a chair.  A good go home from the PPV this sunday when we all go to hell!

Overall a solid Raw:  Sorry this review was so short I took a 3 day vacation from the blog to finish a writing project, but I will have full results for Hell in a Cell sunday night.  Later Junkers.

 

Bonus

 

 

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~ by ATOM on September 27, 2011.

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