Monday Night Raw on a Tuesday
*Sorry for the late review, had no internet for 24 hours.
Well here’s the Raw that all the people who defended that shit log that was pooped out at the end of Night of Champions claims will be the set up things to come. Well CM Punk opens the show and limps out to the ring to signify how brutal last nights match with Triple H was, we get it. He talks for about 20 seconds making a point about how he was wrong about something when Motorhead hits and interrupts Punk which to me is symbolic of pretty much everything going on right now. Triple H says nothing interesting and then Punk counters with adding to the conspiracy theories that someone pitted CM Punk and Triple H against each other. (Vince probably) Triple H tries to do his COO thing and informs Punk he will be getting his rematch at Hell in a Cell in 2 weeks! (Yup, 2 weeks from another PPV) against John Cena and Alberto Del Rio. I can’t tell if Punk is happy or mad, he doesn’t emote well sometimes. Johnny Ace enters the fray at some point (I was mid turkey club) and says Triple H should fire CM Punk which seems inconsistent to what was clearly playing out last night. Triple H says someones gonna git got tonight! bah-nah-what’sup, what’sup! (He said someone’s gettin fired)
Alberto Del Rio tells Triple H some stuff about being cheated out of his densidy and Triple H threatens him with a rematch with John Cena tonight and for some reason Del Rio sneers like Dracula from sunlight because he’s too hurt. (?????)
8-Match Tag (6 guys watch, 2 guys fight)
Air-Queef, The Great White Man Sheamus and Justin Gabriel vs Wade Barrett, Christian and Harlem Heat. (McGillicutty and Otunga) Seriously I think Evan Bourn and Otunga fought for like 45 seconds, then Sheamus got tagged in and beat the Harvard law degree out of David Otunga. Him and Christan made eyes are eachother and that was pretty much that.
Alberto Del Rio vs John “Iron-Mike Sharp” Morrison. Yup Del Rio too hurt to have a rematch for the world title because who wants that, but plenty of energy get a squash against a guy who went from the second top face on Raw to an injured neck to Barry Horowitz. I know I’ve picked on his shitty punches and clotheslines but he’s not bad enough for a squash match at the 9:35 mark on Raw…He can slow down time for god sakes! Anyhow he taps out in like 9 seconds, it’s ugly.
Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara with no Cody Rhodes because well the other Sin Cara came out and they had a flip off and pointed at each other a bunch. The crowd was dead silent for this exchange and I farted during it.
I’ve realized that we’re pretty much down to 4 Divas now. Eve, Beth, Natalya, Kelly Kelly. The Bellas don’t count, nor the NXT divas or Alicia Fox and that other one. So the 4 real Divas competed in a tag match with Kelly Kelly and Eve vs Female Road Warriors Beth and Natalya who are easily dispatched via roll up just like Night of Champions. Still wondering if this will have a pay off or if it’s just a cruel joke.
Truth and Miz apologize to Triple H and are both fined 250,000 dollars in funny money.
JR interviews the new WWE Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry, I’m guessing this ends with a handshake. This was kinda pointless since last nights post-match Clubber Lang promo was much more awesome. Mark demands JR apologise for not thinking he was good I guess and when sorry ain’t good enough, that’s when Mark Henry starts to choke him with his own tie. Now isn’t it time for JR to get that fucking hat stapled to his head as it flies off into the night. Jerry Lawler helps out his friend by getting pummeled by Mark Henry and then getting worlds strongest slammed though a not to flimsy announcers table.
Word is Lawler had to legit be taken to the hospital because they forgot to pre-cut the table. yowza!
This is out of a order in sorts but I wanted to write about it in a whole. Let this be a revelation to the WWE…if you have a guest star on RAW and they actually have some god given talet to entertain people then you get a cringe free segment. I’m not saying some of it wasn’t cheesy but over all it was good. Hugh came down to the ring, started to plug his movie until Dolph Ziggler interupted and finished the plug for him but in a villianous way. Their confrontation was actually funny, from Ziggler making reference to Christan Bale’s T4 on-set rant, to calling Mason Ryan a robot. So Hugh says he’s gonna find an underdog to take ot Ziggler and immedatly the crowd begins a Ryder chant. Jackman even reaches into the crowd and grabs a sign that reads Ryder > Wolverine and I thought, wow a guy who actually gets it.
The Match between Ziggler and Ryder was great, both young talet with a very high ceiling. Vickie gets eliminated from ring side, Jackman interferes by punching Ziggler in the face and Ryder gets the win. Only thing that would have been better is if Koslov came out and threw Jackman at someone via fastball special, but then I remember Koslov was killed by Mark Henry….and fired.
*note I think Jackman broke Zigglers face on the reals according to Zigglers twitter account. So take what I said and throw it in the toilet.
Main Event: Cm Punk and John Cena vs The Miz and R-Truth. Can’t complain much about this main event, those are your 4 BEST Raw superstars and they displayed as such. I really liked this match down to Cena getting his ass kicked for most of it making CM Punk making the save and getting the win. After the match Triple H comes out and fires Miz and Truth. Their reaction is priceless and they run down to the back after Triple H where they are meet by half the locker room in what I thought was a great Raw moment. Triple H tells the remaining superstars to throw R-Truth and Miz out of the arena and they throw them right out the front door. Looks like Triple H wants to feud with the Miz next. Over-all a solid entertaining Raw after what I thought was a mediocre PPV.