WWE’s Night of Champions.

Champion????

The Event opens with the Tag-Titles match (That’s a good way to legitimize the tag-titles, make them the opening act.)  Miz and R-Truth vs Air-Rectal-Release.

I missed this match but the finish was a DQ (otherwise refereed to as a TNA) and Air-Wolf keep the titles and Miz and Truth mutter stuff about spiders and conspiracies.

DiBiase comes out to the “I Come From Money” song. He plays to the crowd early. A few minutes into the match, DiBiase removes Rhodes’ face shield. The crowd digs that. As DiBiase attempts to swing and hit Rhodes with his own mask, he misses, allowing Rhodes to roll him up and secure the three-count for the clean pinfall victory.  This was cut and pasted because I didn’t see it. Least I’m honest.

This is where I come in live.

Christian comes out to the ring and cuts a decent promo.  He goes for the obvious insult that Buffalo has never won the Superbowl and he demands that he should have a title shot immediately after the Orton/Henry title match.  He makes the crowd chant along with him “One more match” and they go along with it which really proves he’s not over as a villian.  Yeah he’s a weasle but he’s entertaining and that resonates with people in this day and age.  Sheamus comes out during the chant to say something about his uncles testicles and then he says if Christian gets his match then the next one is with him.  They begin chanting “One more Match” and then Sheamus kicks Christian in the “mush” according the Booker T who then lets out my favorite awful line “whut tha Heal!”  This segment was to keep these guys relevant because either of them were on the card.  It was quick and clean I didn’t mind it.

Commerical for Randy Orton’s DVD.  I hope this clip in some how involved in his DVD.

John Morrison vs Alex Riley vs Jack Swagger vs Dolph Ziggler:  (US Title Fatal Four) I can’t write this without saying that I really dislike everyone in this match except for Dolph Ziggler.  Vickie comes out with Ziggler and the tension between them is palpable and gross.   Swagger and Vickie have as much chemistry as me and my printer, it’s tough to watch them blankly look at each other.   The match starts and there’s a lot one on one action with people lying around ring side.  I said in my predictions and I stand by the fact that there is no reason this shouldn’t have been a one on one match between Swagger and Ziggler.  That being said the match continues and has some good spots by Morrrison but it drives me crazy because his punches are horrible and the laziest clotheslines maybe ever.  Swagger hits a gut wrench supplex on Morrison, Ziggler flies in pushes Swagger away and gets the pin way.  Decent match over all, good spots, good finish.

Mark Henry vs Randy Orton (World Heavyweight Championship) Commentators really hammer home the drought of no world titles for Mark Henry, will tonight be the night.  Most times Mark Henry matches are slow and boring but lately they have been better and him and Orton follow suit with a well paced match.  Orton is big and agile enough to put on an exciting match with Henry even though he’s gone on record saying he specifically  hates wrestling Mark Henry.  This was said during the same radio interview where he said that Kelly Kelly bangs half the locker room, stay classy Orton. Anyhow Sexual Choco dominaites most of the match and even hits a worlds strongest slam and Booker gives a WHUT THA HEAL! but Orton kicks out and even hits the outside the ropes DDT on Henry which was impressive.   After a few attempts at the RKO Orton starts to play a knee injury angle.  He tries the RKO again but Henry pushes him away, hits the worlds strongest slam and HOLY SHIT MARK HENRY WON THE TITLE! I think this is genius, watching him lately he’s too big and crazy to just job and he fucking deserves the title.  After the match Mark Henry gives an awesome Clubber Lang promo.  Good Stuff all around.

Beth vs Kelly (Divas Title)

Huge Pop for Beth Phoenix in her home town of Buffalo  New York and a first time for a “Kelly Sucks” chant.  Good pace back and forth until Beth takes control and sets up a powerbomb, much like a field goal she shanks it, Kelly rolls her up and gets the win!  Since I was a kid I don’t think I’d been that upset someone lost a match, like felt bad for them.  Even in my predictions I said Kelly was going to win via rollup/upset and halfway through the match like Russia in Rocky 4 I changed!  I started to feel for Buffalo and how much they loved their hometown hero Beth Phoenix.  Hell I’m from Boston and when Cena and Kofi come to town no one gives two things at the Garden.  So when Beth lost I legit felt bad and that hasn’t happend in some time, and then I realized ya know that was the perfect choice for a finish.  Norton shanked the field goal again. You suck Buffalo.

The WWE title match starts with Cena coming out in Del Rio’s stolen car.  Del Rio gets mad that Justin Roberts is going to introduce him and so am I.  He tells him to “Listent” to Richard do it, and he should do it in Spanish to spur more racism.   Kidding, anyhow they get underway and it bounces back and forth with Del Rio taking his usual amount of impressive bumps. Couple near fall from finishers but Cena finally get the STF slapped on and Del Rio taps and you’ve got your 10 time WWE Champion John Cena.  I didn’t see it happening but Cena winning the title again I wasn’t surprised.  Where this goes will probably be determined with the next match I believe.

Main Event: Cm Punk vs Triple H. CM Punk enters first sporting the new CM Punk Ice Cream bars shirt.  Why not actually come out with the ice cream bars??  Triple H enters next to the classic “Game” intro along with water bottle spitting.  Punk jumps him mid intro (bout time someone did this) and these guys just start beating the shit out of each other.  They brawl all through the arena with weapons and some good spots.  Back into the ring for some chairs and trash cans and it’s been just a brutal brawl all the way through capped off with an awesome high spot where Punk drove an elbow from the top rope to the outside driving Triple H through a table.  When this doesn’t happen on the regular it’s so exciting to see.  After that spot that’s when the clusterfuck ensues.  Miz and R-Truth do a run in and beat everyone down, they each hit a finisher on CM Punk and Triple H and try to have Punk cover H but he kicks out.  Miz blames the ref and beats him down for what seemed like far too long.  H and Punk regain strength and clear them out of the ring, then HHH hits a Petagree on Punk and goes for the pin but no ref.  Johnny Ace comes down and stops a second ref from going into the ring.  Triple H goes to confront Ace but Punk spins him around and delivers the GTS.  Ace lets the ref go in but R-Truth breaks up the pin fall.  Yes the man who tried to have Punk win the match to eliminate HHH as COO for no explicable reason breaks the count.  This is when I start to grow angry because I know this is going to end badly.  R-Truth is dispatched and then predictably Nash comes through the crowd and beats up Punk and HHH.  Nash attempts to Powerbomb Triple H through the announcers table but Triple H counters with a sledgehammer shot.  He enters the ring, finisher and Triple H wins.  Yup that’s how it ended and I’m pretty disappointed.  Seeing Triple H get his hand raised as the logo pops up causes me to have a flashback of every fucking pay-per-view for the last 10 years that ended this way and I say “Fuck this”  This is why I stopped watching in the first place.  I’m not trying to come off as a huge Punk mark, I just think it was a mistake to have Triple H involved in this garbage.  Out with the old please! I would have rather seen Punk/Cena 3 at Night of Champions than this shit.  The Summer of Punk much like last years Nexus angle, started off great and just slowly fizzled out.  After thinking that, it dawns on me that Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett didn’t even make the card and this is why the WWE can’t get out of it’s own way.   I know this sets up a ton for the future and I still don’t know where it’s gonna go but I was really disappointed in this muddled up shitshow of a finish for what was a really good match.  Let’s find out what happens tomorrow…I guess.

 

 

 

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~ by ATOM on September 18, 2011.

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